|First Impressions: This is wonderfully creepy, and I appreciate that.
Formatting Options: You might want to consider taking away the emotions that the actor feels when playing your parts. A good actor will know how the character is supposed to react, and, if not, they will ask. That being said, I make that mistake all of the time, so don't feel bad. Also, you may wish to consider italicizing the actions, instead of putting *this*. It isn't a problem for me, but a few people have complained about my writing because of that exact thing.
Things that will stick with me: The whole thing. It was touching, the way you portrayed death as a kindly man, who has feelings and a soul as well. This piece, short though it was, will be something I will remember for quite some time.
Thanks for posting--
Jewell A Pentagram