|Acme, this be a new fav of mine. You pull at my heart strings instead of my funny bone with this. Love the way you wove the corn theme throughout and, of course, loved the ending. You’ve done a good job in handling the dialect. You kept the voice and perspective of your characters throughout. You handled a sensitive subject without making it maudlin.
Good. It meant that her eyes were tearing because of pain, and not because she was a 'sissy'. (Buck appreciates this)
Her Mom let the waves of pre-pubescent angst wash against her patience, (wonderful line)
She dove into the sweet pillows of hay and burrowed like a prairie dog until her reedy arms tired out. Then she curled and sobbed. Tears and mucus, mixed with sweat and hay, in one mess of a little girl. (great image)
Time passed until her cries became hollow barks and no more knots remained in her stomach. (love hollow barks)
Look at little Amy Hunter, for example. A fine friend like that, and he lets her come and visit you from heaven for all them years - never mindin' how sad the other Angels are that she's come to spend time here with you." (just plain wonderful)
No one ever really leaves us, they just go on ahead and wait for us to catch up with our business first." (reaching for the tissues)
He was real, and solid, and flesh, and blood, and bone, and love, and so was Amy; for now. (reaching for another)
Of course(comma) today would be hard for her daughter -(might make dash a semi-colon) they were visiting Amy for the first time since her Chemo had ended.
Theirs was one of the few families in Gainsborough still adhering to the joint farming disciplines of Cattle and Corn. (They were)Considered outdated by the majority of agriculture, and mostly automated now in one,(delete comma) or the other specialties.
She pushed her eggs around the plate her Mom had placed in front of her.(make period into dash) Willing all her concentration into how thin she could scramble them with the back of her fork
and back to the womb of the hay loft,(delete) in the old red barn
A salute to the soft side of the brit.
Now some may wonder why I’m giving this a 5 when I sent out the comma police. The clown believes heart substance way more important than finger typos.