This is heart and gut wrenching. It feels like a tale of loss of self and maybe a loved one. Disappearing without leaving seems to be the loss of self, possibly due to the loss of someone else. It is a painful read that is beautiful in the raw reality it portrays. I sat in silence for over 5 minutes from the effect of your words and tried not to imagine the torturous inspiration that created them. I do, however, admire the bravery it took to share them. I see no need to improve anything. This reads like catharsis, and if that is what is needed, then I hope it serves that purpose. You have managed to put into words what is trapped inside of those of us who have been there, are still there, but can not express what we feel. This is an amazing piece that I will read again and again.
This is a very moving story. It hits home with me because my brother's wife and children live in Butuan and I just went there last October for 32 days. (My first time in the Philippines.) I can picture the hospital and the woman from your description. There are a few changes I would make with grammar but all in all, the story is well told and beautiful to read. Thank you for sharing this.
This very touching, so heartfelt. It could be a mission statement for Save the Children, Stamp out Hunger, the Red Cross or any number of organizations out there. It certainly caused me to reflect on my good fortune and to think of the millions out there with nothing. I saw no room for improvement. This message is very clear.
...this piece flowed with so much rythmn I could feel it...truly...I didn't have visions of a garden...but I pictured trees with branches hanging...moss and mist....distant drums and voices carried by breezes...I didn't find a need for improvement of any kind...I enjoyed it...great job...
I enjoyed this article very much. It was one of the most in-depth articles on query writing I have ever read and it was concise. There was nothing drawn out...yet there was great detailing on the subject of queries. The examples were perfect. I was going to just glance over this article since it was after 1am when I started reading but it got my attention and held it and I will actually use it as a guide many times as I write queries...thank you...
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