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Printed from http://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/spongequeen13
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396 Public Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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Review by BlueMoon
Rated: E | (3.0)
The conversation between the narrator and the lion cubs is interesting. I don't know about the roaring/boring lines you could probably cut that out if you wanted to. It's not till the 'sphinxes' line comes up that this is more evident it's something more than just lion cubs. I guess the ending makes a bit more sense knowing that. So really, it's more a guy trying to pick up girls. Unique way of going about it. Idk how I feel about the last four lines but it could just be me.
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Review of Game Models  
Review by BlueMoon
In affiliation with Mental Health Writers Alliance  
Rated: E | (3.0)
The idea is certainly very intriguing. The last sentence, i think thats meant to be a period. Certainly something that would catch people's attention for sure. New innovative ideas are always welcome, especially these days. Definitely around college is when [hopefully] they encourage you to think for yourself. This was an interesting read.
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Review of Morning in Space  
Review by BlueMoon
In affiliation with 30-Day Bloggers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
I worried about Deana and I was right. Let them get their own coffee!
I have to say, the space frontier is a great place for the imagination. There's much like the ocean, in which we just don't know what's all out there.
I don't know if they still want to shoot people to Mars any more or not since Bill Nye crushed their dreams. I heard someone saying in five years they wanted to 'stay' on the moon instead of visiting. What would you even do?

Thanks for the story, it was enjoyable.
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Review of Her Prize  
Review by BlueMoon
In affiliation with 30-Day Bloggers Group  
Rated: E | (3.0)
Something about gothic genre, be it writing, poetry, whatever, it just feels the melancholy part of you. Maybe when you want something not so cheerful and a little angsty you go gothic. I think that rose at the end could be ominous. But the setting is definitely set and actions are about to take place.

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Review of Sons of Erin  
Review by BlueMoon
In affiliation with Mental Health Writers Alliance  
Rated: E | (3.0)
Alright, I'm down with that. I like the leprechaun image that goes with this. Simple, fun, very true. I know in the states it's more of a drinking holiday. My understanding was that Ireland was a bit more reverent of the day. Not that drinking wasn't involved at some point but maybe not as much as elsewhere in the world.
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Review of Exhausted  
Review by BlueMoon
In affiliation with 30-Day Bloggers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
When Dorian was coming through, I had to think about what I would miss if it hit and we lost everything. If you think about it, lot of times, it's just stuff. Stuff can be replaced but life can't be. Somethings have sentimental value and of course we'd be devastated if we cam home and it's all gone.

The human spirit is very hardy and get through a lot of hardships.

I get where you're saying about humanity. Sometimes it sucks to count yourself among humanity.

You as an individual can be who you want and decide what you want to do with your life. It can be hard, and sometimes you don't see anything positive in your life or the world in general.

It doesn't mean you should give up or resign yourself among the masses. People make choices and sometimes they're really terrible ones. That doesn't mean the opposite isn't true as well. You just hear more of the bad than the good and the beauty that's out there.

Everyone has the choice to be part of the problem or part of the solution to making the world better. It starts on the individual front. Within us.

I hope you decide to stick around. I think you have poet in your future.

Hope you find a home here in the WDC community.

Warm regards, BlueMoon

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Review of Waterfall  
Review by BlueMoon
In affiliation with Mental Health Writers Alliance  
Rated: E | (3.0)
Haikus are fun to read but a bit harder to write. I love nature haikus. There's just so many different ways to describe nature and fitting it into haiku form can be tricky. I certainly admire people who seemed to have a much better grasp of it than me.

Very vivid imaging.
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Review by BlueMoon
In affiliation with Mental Health Writers Alliance  
Rated: E | (4.0)
You've certainly got homeschooling down to a science. If you have the time and are able to do so more power to you. You certainly seemed to have it covered on various fronts. I'm sure your kids are getting the very most out of this. To do all that, you have to be pretty disciplined to be able to do that and make sure the kids are doing what they need done. I don't know if that's something I could do.

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Review of the dream  
Review by BlueMoon
In affiliation with Mental Health Writers Alliance  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Something about angsty poetry that really gets to you. I comes off like a lost love and morphs into a man willing to give his life for another. ''No greater love is there than to lay down one's life for a friend.'' This man sounds like an amazing self-less person and I'm sure will be greatly missed.
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Review by BlueMoon
In affiliation with 30-Day Bloggers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
I think this is awesome! I love the name Arboleda. It sounds like some far off distant land waiting to be explored. I like the dynamics between this group of people/friends that are going off in search of adventure. I'm not sure if you meant grim reaper instead of grin reaper. It was rather enjoyable to read.
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Review by BlueMoon
In affiliation with 30-Day Bloggers Group  
Rated: E | (3.5)
I can certainly agree that these are very divisive times. Just about anything can be cause for people to get upset and blow things out of proportion. Does anybody have to be the bad guy? Can we not agree to disagree and still have respect for out fellow man? Last time, it took 9/11 for people to become united together. I really hope something like that is not necessary to remind people that we're all Americans and we need to stand together if we don't want to crumble like those who came before us.

Maybe you could separate the second paragraph by spacing a little. It looks more neat that way instead of becoming a run on sentence.

Some valid points to be sure.
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Review of The Blue Trio  
Review by BlueMoon
In affiliation with 30-Day Bloggers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
It certainly readable and easy to follow. The introduction was nice so to get a mind of who our cast of characters are. I think was really sweet and I love how two dogs and a frog were able to come together and make something magical happen. I love that.

Have a wonderful day and thanks for sharing!
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Review by BlueMoon
In affiliation with Mental Health Writers Alliance  
Rated: 18+ | (3.5)
It's rather interesting whete you've chosen to take this story. I'm not sure how the ending was supposed to be a joke but i'm sure all will be revealed. I'm a bit surprised that Seto cares so much about Joan. I don't really like that Seto calls her 'whore' but i guess it fits him and their beginning relationship. Also, Max & Pegasus are jerks. Good work on cont.this story.

Write on!
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Review by BlueMoon
In affiliation with 30-Day Bloggers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (3.5)
You know, I wasn't sure how i felt about the topic before going in, but I kind of like it. Not really sure I could keep the characters straight but still an interesting read. I think it has a bit of a more realistic approach and I like how the main girl is cool taking it slow with Mokuba. I thought that was thoughtful of her.

The only thing that would say for now is you can just say Amazon instead of ''Amazoness''.

I think there's some promise here. Whatever you want to do with it from here, good luck!
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Review of Dear Henry!  
Review by BlueMoon
In affiliation with 30-Day Bloggers Group  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hi,thanks for sharing.
It certainly seems alot of time and effort went into this and I'd say it shows. I feel so badly for John. I think he was royally hosed and as soon as he was able should quit town and the lot of you as well. He was probably horribly embarassed. One of those personal things you don't share w/ people. I'm certain he'd have trust idsues after that.

I'd say if you space paragraphs out, that would help it look neater.

Maybe 'your lovely brother,

Paul'.


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Review by BlueMoon
In affiliation with Mental Health Writers Alliance  
Rated: E | (3.0)
Interesting poem. I'll certainly have to check it out. The pyrean chamois sounds new. Always interested in learning about new things and places. A lot of animals have to deal with people encroaching on their territory and have to go further away from the development or wend up smack near people. Just look at bears and how they pop up near neighborhoods and freak people out. There was a school in FL, they had to shut down to wait out the bear that ,made it up a tree.

It's sad to think about sometimes.

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Review by BlueMoon
In affiliation with Mental Health Writers Alliance  
Rated: E | (3.5)
I don't know why exactly but just the way the style of this poem was done made me think of ''six degrees of separation'' by the script. Just starting to read through it, I immediately started singing it to that. You call it essay but I saw it as a poem. Either way, it's really good, plenty of imagery ofr the reader.
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Review by BlueMoon
In affiliation with Mental Health Writers Alliance  
Rated: E | (3.0)
Hello there,

I just want to say it was your image i guess that drew me further. I rather like that idea so please keep working on it and see what comes of it.

You really only need to turn on the news/radio to find out how depressing the world is. Which is a terrible shame and may mean that it's a whole new world from what my parent knew. I mom was able to travel some when she was in the navy. She didn't feel bad about exploring alone in a country not her own. Can't say that now a days sadly. Not sure if that bodes well for any travel plans I had thought of.


But please give this idea some serious thought. I really do believe it has merit.
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Review by BlueMoon
In affiliation with 30-Day Bloggers Group  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hello! I thought this was really well done. I had attempted to make one in my early days but I think I messed up somewhere because it didn't come out nearly as good as yours. I'm not sure why exactly it came up in the hope category but I guess for job seeking it makes sense.


I like doing madlibs because they're generally designed to be fun and wacky and it' always interesting to see how they play out. Sometimes they do end up making sense when you're not really trying. The world's a funny place after all. I appreciate you putting this out there. I really did get a kick out of it.
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Review by BlueMoon
Rated: E | (3.0)
Well we certainly get about heritage and good bloodlines. I like the little cover you have for this. I think it really helps the idea of what's being said here. Now I'm trying to think how much philosophical writing I may have read without realizing it.

To me, it almost comes off like a chant.
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Review by BlueMoon
In affiliation with 30-Day Bloggers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
There's a lot to making characters is what it comes down to. I don't know how well my charcters come out when I'm writing, some better than others. but this really goes into how to make them come alive and not just characters in a book. This was really informative and insightful.
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Review by BlueMoon
In affiliation with Mental Health Writers Alliance  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Thank you for sharing. Mental illness definitely has a stigma and that's hurtful for the people affected by it. Something like ADHD I think has often been misdiagnosed or if found, not properly diagnosed. Some children who have been diagnosed with having it, may or may not have and been unnecessarily treated for something they didn't have & could be later harmed by the aftermath.

Thank you for sharing and giving a more personal look into ADHD.
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Review by BlueMoon
In affiliation with 30-Day Bloggers Group  
Rated: E | (3.0)
Hello,

I hope ypu are able to find meaning and something to give you purpose. I know it may seem hopeless now, but someday it won't hurt as bad and you will be able to move on without getting trapped in the past. It does get better, and however long it takes you to process the loss of the relatiosnhip, you are capable of alot more than you give yourself credit for.

Maybe take this time to focus on yourself a bit more and think about what you want out of life.
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Review by BlueMoon
Rated: E | (3.0)
I was almost expecting the ''Tell-Tale Heart''. This sounds like something a horror/suspense author might say. As a writer, there's probably some untold story somewhere waiting to be let out. But finding the inspiration to put it out there is another thing.
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Review by BlueMoon
In affiliation with Mental Health Writers Alliance  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello,

This was very well done. Definitely feel the emotion of this young child as they reach the end of their life. I don't think anybody's really ever ready when their time is up. I think it's even worse for kids. Grown ups know some day they won't be around and{if they have kids}try to do all they can for them while they can. But kids are so young and you don't think of their lives being cut short. I don't know jow you'd begin trying to prepare them for that.
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