Amber this is a really good first try at erotica. It's very short and being so short you can get by with very little characterization BUT in most stories characterization fuels the interest of the reader. Remember to show not tell the story, do it with dialogue and descriptives of the characters and surroundings. In erotica all the senses must come into play, sight, sound, touch, taste, smell, all of them. When you learn how to use them effectively your story will become more interesting and more like a professional story not just a quick passion fix. All the best to you in your writing endeavors. Also you have a few misspells so use your spell check, it's the writer's best friend!
Belle
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/suzqmg
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.22 seconds at 1:05am on Jan 17, 2021 via server WEB1.