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361 Public Reviews Given
391 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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101
101
Review by Topazknight
Rated: E | (4.0)
There are very good stories in here. So far I've read "Purple Hat," and "River" and found them quite enjoyable. They paint a vivid picture of small town life each in its own way. My wife is a better judge having grown up in Arkansas herself, but I've visited occasionally and I like the country. I'm sure you have more to tell and I may pop in from time to time to see what's new.
102
102
Review of Old Muddy River  
Review by Topazknight
Rated: E | (4.0)
A well related tale of past events. I especially like the explaination of the river's name, not everyone would have thought to add that piece to the puzzle. I think it comletes the background of the picture.

I also like the difference of personalities between yourself and you sister. If you weren't so determined not to be outdone, you'd have no story to tell.

I see one grammatical error that stands out:

If they were not a
good swimmer, they would be sucked under and drowned.

it mixes singulars with plurals. People speak like this all the time, but in print, it should be refined like so:
If he was not a good swimmer, he would...
103
103
Review of The Jungle  
Review by Topazknight
Rated: E | (4.0)
I like the theme, hi-school life. I remember it well even after *ahem* years. I only expect it has gotten worse between then and now.

The social groups are very well rendered. I remember being a geek; one who didn't rise to his potential. I could probaly have done better if I weren't a procratinatop as well. I see myself walking thru halls behind classmates who had to duck to fit thru the doors. Your comparison to a cattle ranch is unique. I'd have never thought to make one like it.
104
104
Review of Bubblegum Romance  
Review by Topazknight
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Character development is fair. Could do with a little physical description. I do like Ivy's 'devil may care' attitude. makes for an unlikely pair.

I like the weaving of juke songs into the conversation. adds a certain railism since these devices won't stop playing for our convenience. the conversation seems like one they've had before since she plays his weaknesses in a way designed to cut him off.

I like the fifties diner setting (though re-runs of 'Happy Days' are my only contact with them). It's sort of run down condition is particularly engaging.

"How bout some food,?" comma unneeded.

It beats for you. Your's beats for me.": possessive 'yours' no apostrophe.

"You'll take me home, Ralph, she said. Take me home now.":missing quotes.
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