|I gave you this rating because it is a good story.
I stumbled on 'Wake up'- 'secreted' - 'ate that there'
And some minor punctuation.
Seems a little critical, I know, but with a few small changes, this peice could certainly be read in the likes of 'Reader's Digest' etc.
Judging by your writing skill, you likely questioned those points yourself.
A brilliant story, just short of perfect.