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11 Public Reviews Given
12 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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Review by Tursk
Rated: E | (4.0)
I hope this is about foamy coffee... because you just made me want to make some. On goes the kettle. I liked the poem!
2
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Review by Tursk
Rated: E | (2.5)
Hi Becca,

Thanks for sharing your children's story. Friendship is a really great subject that a lot of small children have challenges with. I really liked the idea of Charley wandering around the house trying to make friends with the things he meets. I would love to hear about what else he might have come across while wondering in his house and what reaction they had towards him.

When I read stories to my own children, I sometimes choose stories that have illustrations that help explain the story and give a little more detail as to what is going on. The really good stories often don't need really detailed illustrations because the words are so descriptive and fun. Try painting your words a little to bring out some of the fun in children's writing. Add some descriptive words. Tell us where the play date is happening. Show us what Charley and Stanley do together. Let the dialogue shine by using quotation marks (") and lots of spacing :)

There are some technical writing issues in this piece. (grammar,homophones,sentence structure) Please email me if you would like to try and work through some of this together - I'm sure I'll learn something too.

This really is a cute story that would be great for a really young audience. I hope there are more Charley and Stanley dragon/dinosaur? stories to come.

Cheers

Tursk
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