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Printed from http://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/wearred4aids
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6 Public Reviews Given
Public Reviews
1
1
Review of CoffeeHouse Talk  
Review by Casey
Rated: E | (4.5)
Sunny Spots: A wonderful story! I know people who can certainly relate to SGK only instead of a coffeehouse, it's a youth centre which hosts cofeehouse nights :) Very touching!

Rainy Times: I can only suggest one correction :) "Lately he's been bringing SGG with him - skinny greasy girl.

The Rainbow at the End: *Star* *Star* *Star* *Star* *Halfstar*

Have a Nice Day!
Wear(RED)ForAIDS

We thought that we had the answers, it was the questions we had wrong. - Bono, Project(RED)
2
2
Review by Casey
Rated: E | (5.0)
Sunny Spots: I just love the poetic story as a whole. The flying fish and swimming birds was just the icing on the cake!

Rainy Times: I see nothing that needs correcting so rest easy :)
I do have one idea to help the first paragraph rhyme.
Instead of having:

"With crayons all around me
and a distorted fish in place
I pick up two three colours
and start colouring it red and grey"

Why not have:

"With crayons all around me
and a distorted fish in place
I pick up two three colours
and start colouring in reds and greys"

The Rainbow at the End: *Star**Star**Star**Star**Star*

Have a Nice Day!
Wear(RED)ForAIDS

We thought that we had the answers, it was the questions we had wrong. - Bono, Project(RED)
3
3
Review of Creepy Things  
Review by Casey
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Wow, just wow. This story kept me hanging on from the beginning to the end. I love stories with such a narration that it feels like it really happened, a memoir of something in an actual reality.

You've included such a great amount of wonderful detail that you feel like your standing right next to him watching everything that his happening first hand.

One of my guilty hobbies is reading books about murder cases which have actually happened. I'm not sure if you recall it but when it was happening, I followed the Scott Peterson case in California from the day Laci & Connor (unborn baby) were found to the day he was hauled off to jail.

I will definitely continue to read and review any other stories you create.

Have a wonderful day!
Wear(RED)4AIDS
4
4
Review of Hit List  
Review by Casey
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
Dear Legiontory,

This was a fairly interesting read. I can't say I have a hit list but I do have a mental list of people I wish I'd never have to see again. At one time, I wished my military neighbor would get posted in Afghanistan so I'd never have to deal with him again.

I do have some spelling corrections for you :)

"The thing is fairly long too. I would never tell you or any of my closest friends who was one the thing anyway."

"One" should be on.

"I keep it as a symbol- symbolic of all the hate and fustrations I've been in throughout the times."

You're simply missing an "r", no big problem.

"The list is everywhere I go, this hit list I posess deep down in my heart, in my little shoebox under the bed. I look at it from time to time and wonder "How did they get on here again."

It should be spelt possess.

Overall, nice opinion piece. It is nice to find someone who is not afraid to use their right of freedom of speech.

Never let your creative juices run out, never censor.

WearRED4AIDS
5
5
Review of Stereotypes  
Review by Casey
Rated: E | (4.0)
Dear Legiontory,

I must say I agree with you. With so many diverse nations today, why are there still people who discriminate just because someone else is unique or different.

I myself was discriminated against just because I grew up naturally thin. I didn't need to go on special diets or exercise until I passed out. I worked at a McDonald's for eight months and gained only five pounds eating their fake food.

Thanks for sharing your view on this situation.

My only recommendations is to indent the beginnings of each paragraph. :)

Never let your creative juices run out, never censor.

WearRED4AIDS
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