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Printed from http://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/xanderriley
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26 Public Reviews Given
Public Reviews
1
1
Review by Xander Riley
Rated: E | (5.0)
Very inspiring! It's true that we can never truly know what another person is going through. Once we open our eyes to see circumstances from their point of view, whole new worlds open up to us.

I'm returning your auto-reward gift points - they are appreciated, but not necessary.

Check out my portfolio at http://XanderRiley.Writing.Com

Also, check out my website at
http://www.XanderRiley.Net
Wonderful sig created by Terryjroo
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Review by Xander Riley
Rated: E | (5.0)
How cute!!! I'm an animal lover and really hate cute furry animals being hunted, but this poem was very entertaining. They rhyme and meter was great. The final verse was perfect to lighten the mood. Great job!

Check out my portfolio at http://XanderRiley.Writing.Com
> >
> > Also, check out my website at http://www.XanderRiley.Net
> > Wonderful sig created by Terryjroo
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Review of The Artist's Maid  
Review by Xander Riley
Rated: E | (4.5)
Very vivid for such a short story. The development of Dominica was quite good - I could identify with her as a real character. You developed both the scene and character well.

The following comments are simply my personal reaction to the story, so please accept it only as a reader's opinion (not as an editor's critique). My own writing has been reviewed in a similar fashion. At first, I took offense to the review, but after some thought I realized that my stories affect every reader differently. Some readers (like myself) will notice things that most readers don't see. It all depends on the reader's background.

Personally, I felt confused with the story's realism. I found myself going back to read certain parts a second time to verify what I had read - especially her age and the style of language spoken. I'm not an expert (or even close to being one), but the dialogue and description of Dominica seemed out of place once you identified Michelangelo as the artist. [Based upon my other reading of this time period, life expectancy was lower in those days and "thirty years" was nearly a full lifetime. "Still dark hair" sounded wrong for a woman that late in life.] There will always be somebody that reads your work and over-analyzes it. Don't ever change anything unless you feel that it should be changed! Just keep in mind that someone will always question the "reality" of whatever you write. (At least that's what I've found to be true.)

I truly enjoyed the imagery of the artist's studio.

BTW - I'm refunding your auto-reward since my wordy review was more of a personal response to your story.

Check out my portfolio at http://XanderRiley.Writing.Com
>
> Also, check out my website at http://www.XanderRiley.Net
> Wonderful sig created by Terryjroo
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Review by Xander Riley
Rated: E | (4.0)
Very short, but a good scene - this would be perfect for a longer story. You set the scene well. However, there was one sentence that needs to be changed:

Full lips appeared lightly stained, with a grayish-blue tint, which slowly turned up into a wicked grin.

By separating the sentence, it sounds like the "tint" turned up into a wicked grin.


Check out my portfolio at http://XanderRiley.Writing.Com

Also, check out my website at http://www.XanderRiley.Net
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5
5
Review by Xander Riley
Rated: E | (4.5)
A very entertaining poem. I noticed that you used no punctuation throughout the entire poem (except for one comma in the last stanza) - is there a reason for that?

The only place I stumbled while reading was "caper and jolly along".

Check out my portfolio at http://XanderRiley.Writing.Com

Also, check out my website at http://www.XanderRiley.Net
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Review of The Changeling  
Review by Xander Riley
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Great story! It was so dark and gloomy. Then when it became clear that the sister was not physically real, the story took an uplifting turn. The ending was phenomenal.

I only noticed one correction to make: near the end, in the phrase "Tina took their daughters hand and guided it to touch the headstone", the word "daughter's" should have an apostrophe.

Keep up the excellent writing!

Check out my portfolio at http://XanderRiley.Writing.Com

Also, check out my website at http://www.XanderRiley.Net
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Review of Inspire  
Review by Xander Riley
Rated: E | (5.0)
I really enjoyed this short poem. In three short verses, you instill an upbeat feeling which makes the reader want to go forth and inspire others. I have no suggestions for improving this, but would love to see a longer version. Keep up the excellent writing!

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