Thank you for delivering the scariest story I have
read, so far. I think a recurring nightmare is
probably one my biggest fears along with dark, small
rooms with no oxigen.
The terror John must have felt was at some point
overcome by his reality. The person he loved the
most was taken from him, the daughter he never met
was dead before she saw light.
All this wrapped up in the intoxication of a
chemical weapon make for a terrifying story. The
characters well developed. A intricate plot where we
can still come back to reality. The detailed
description of a rotten corpse( reminiscent of the
japanese corpse-girl tumbling down the steps)along
with the dammed crows. Excellent!
Great POV. I want to tell you a little about my
childhood. I grew up int Puerto Rico (Caribbean
Island),there life is carefree. Kids can ride their
bikes, playball, rolerblade, go to the mall, learn how
to drive without a liscense. Basically they can do
whatever the hell they want. On the other hand my
beatiful little Island is U.S. spoiled little baby.
We have EVERYTHING we need and more. Which brings
money. with money come better lifestyles. Soon people
want MORE. So my happy little island is now a
Commercial goldmine where actors, singers,Miss
Universes and Jlos and Marc Anthonys are fabricated.
The thugs now run the streets from ages 10 to 21.
Driving hummers and mercedes with platinum jewerly.
Life is not always safe. You can choose to keep them
in. but when your gone who's gonna shield them?
Hello and welcome!
I'm Z.C. and I've only been a member for 2 months.
Writing.com is the best place to come in an let your
mind free. The possiblities are endless.
If this is your one of tyour first works is pretty
good. I wish I had concetrated on writing simple
stuff like this. Instead my first one was a least
1000 words. i really like how you describe the scene.
Only one grammar error : quite should be quiet.
And here is the cruel reality of life. Short and to
the point. Is a shame that so short sentences fit the
bill when describing the lives of those who are less fortunate than us. Good writing, catedral.
Z.
Your last entry : the sound of silence? will be on my
mind all day.
Dear Prokaryote:
What does your name mean? Hmm? Anyway I read your
story and I imagined I was the character.Horrifying!
It sounded like me a little like a parallel universe. The thought of losing control of my body
and my senses is enough to freak me out! Thanks!
Z.Crespo
I only noted one mispelled word and I think is on the
3rd or 4th paragraph where you write my instead by.
Dear Cassie:
I like to blog because it gives me a minute to reflect on my life without speaking to anyone in
particular. When I read someone else's blog is 'cause
something in their 'work' made me dig dipper. To see
what kind of personality came up with something that blew my mind. You dig?
Hola que tal? Esta historia es muy bonita. Para
mi seria la manera perfecta de explicarle la muerte
a mi bebe si asustarla. Escribes muy bien. Es un
placer poder leer algo en mi idioma. Aunque sabes
algo? Mi computadora esta programada para escribir en
Ingles y no permite asentuar las palabras en Espanol.
Como le haces?
Me parece que hasta te puedo oir contar la historia
con un acento argentino. Eres de alla? Yo soy boricua.
Mucho gusto en conocerte. Ciao, pibe.
My Dear Signora Duci:
I speak with an accent even when I write because
Spanish just like your Italian is carried in the blood.
I guess that no matter how far away we are from home we
take the essence of it with us forever. I would love to meet Friuli, it sound beautiful. For a minute I thought I saw her and if I took a deep breath I could
taste the salt in my tongue. I know how it feels.
Instead of greens, mines are turquoise blue so clear
you can see the coral mixed in the sand. In the capital
of Old San Juan we have "El Castillo del Morro" our
fortress defending the northern coast from piracy attacks. Not too far we have 'El parque de la Princesa'
or what you would call Piazza Principeza?
It would indeed be nice to share some history!
Molto Buono! Right? Teach me Italiano,amica!
Dear Khalish:
This imformation should be posted where anyone can read it. It takes a MAN to recognze the injustice that
many women suffer still in this age and time.
I not only abhorred so conduct, but advocated agaisnt
any or all abuse agaisnt women and girls in these
religion. I am confident that as we open our minds to
the dark truth that still sorrounds humanity we will
one day overthrow any if not all barbaric treatment of
woman.
I've read so many articles of young girls fleeing their countries in order to avoid the female circumsi-
cion. By removing the female sensitive genitalia the
girl sexual organ becomes a birthing machine with no
feelings.
I wonder then if one day after they extinguish all the women in their lifes who will birth their sons?
Satan?
Dear Matt:
Seriously engaging.For some reason Japanimation comes
to mind when I read this story.Was that your train of
thought? you have a gift for seeing the scene and carrying it out so that ,we, the readers can almost see
it in our minds.I will read the rest now.
It was a bittersweet pleasure to read your work.
You opened memories that bleed for me even 17 years
later.
You see I come from a family that has what you call
a comfortable life. We're not rich, but we've always
worked very hard for what we had.As a result when I
was a little girl a use to attend a private school
in my native P.R.
My mother used to work for the government and she
did anyhting in her power to make us happy.One summer
she decided it would be cool to bring us to Orlando's
Disney World.
She saved the money, she packed us up and off e
went. When we got to Orlando,we were told half of the
tab was not covered and that we needed to find out what
went wrong. It turns out the woman who took are of our
reservation was bogus and stole our money.
We could only stay 5 days.We didn't have any more
money and when the time came we needed to vacate.As
always in my life I believe in my Angel.One of the busboys who spoke spanish gave us all his tip money and put us on a bus to a homeless shelter.All that time
he'd sneaked us food from the restaurant God bless him.
To make a long story short we lived at the shelter
for 3 or 4 months until a rich family sponsored us.
I will never forget the woman name: Ann Farell from
the Orlando Sentinel. I'm writing to you through tears
because I...could never thank her in english for every-thing she did for us!.
So I know what your talking about M.C. I am lucky.This is my work computer because I can't afford one yet. I did at some point ate pizza from a garbage can near Church street station..Oh God.
I gotta let you go..I need to breathe.
Ambrose: Your writing reminds me of Nora Roberts,and
I mean it in a complementing way. I wonder if the chanting in your story has a reality beyond our imagination. For some reason I don't feel scare of this
ritual.Do you feel that perhaps we,as humans have the ability to will things to happen by the power of words
alone?..Despite all the questions I have now, I liked
the story.A part of me is always fascinated by the things that I can't yet understand but I look foward to the 2nd part of your story.
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Z.Crespo