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Rated: E · Monologue · Family · #1149733
The funny side of parenting teenagers, dealing with dirty counters and hanging towel bars.
Living with teenagers I've learned to expect the expected. You heard that right. People are creatures of habit, whether good or bad, and logic never seems to apply to a lot of teenage choices and decisions. One can always hope that a calm explanation or polite request may one day be heeded, but so far I've had little success.

For example I've learned to always dry off the counter or check for spills before setting anything down. I expect there will be water or astonishingly sticky spots. These seemingly innocuous substances will instantly and permanently fuse the mail to the countertop. This battle to promote the simple concept of "cleaning up after yourself" has recently enlisted a large band of co-conspirators. The presence of sugar ants has achieved results beyond my wildest hopes. Lately the counters have been immaculate. I'm trying to figure out how to secretly keep a few tame ants and train them to make occasional appearances so everyone stays sharp.

Don't get the idea that I only grumble and complain about the dirty dishes and crumbs on the counters and the crumbs who leave them there. The kids and my wife all roll their eyes when I start in about the designers of common household items. Those college educated wonders should all be forced to spend years at hard labor installing the things they design. Have you ever tried to put up a 12, 18, or 24 inch towel bar on a wall where all the studs are 16 inches apart?

My wife used to take the kids out for ice cream when I had to hang towel bars. We didn't want the youngsters to expand their vocabularies in certain directions at such tender ages. I never liked dealing with those wonky little plastic screw anchors. All it takes to talk them out of staying put, and doing their seemingly very simple job, is for a six year old to hang up a wet towel while excited about going to a birthday party. All of a sudden the anchors "don't", the towel bar leaps from the wall, and with the added weight of a soggy towel, lands on a six year old toe. The nice people at the emergency room don't understand when you put down "poor design" as the cause of an accident. Next time I'm going to glue the towel bars up with that sticky stuff from the kitchen counters. Lord knows it will never let go.
© Copyright 2006 Eric Brierley (txbirder at Writing.Com). All rights reserved.
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