This is just a myth that I made up. It is pretty funny, but also very interesting.
|2005 years, four months, and 28 days ago, in the land of Knig. There was a boy named Bo Terannhimur, everyone else except his family called him, “Bo The Bum.” That was because his family was so poor. Bo was a 5 foot 2 kid with dark-brown skin and black hair. He was poor, frail, but yet very stealthy. He had never liked adventures and he won’t like this one either.
One day this penniless child turned one-penny-full! He went to “Ye Old Penny Shoppe.” Then, he dropped his penny and this kid hastily swooped down out of nowhere and snatched Bo’s penny. It was like he was waiting for someone to drop a penny so he could take it. “Hey come back, what’s your name,” said Bo. “Ritchie Rinaldo AKA Richie Rich,” the mysterious boy said.
So, Bo got really frustrated and yelled like a ferocious fly, “Give me my penny back Rich Boy.” Ritchie replied liked a crazed giraffe, “Nah.” “Are your parents wealthy,” asked Bo with curiosity. Of course they were and Ritchie said, “Yeah,” with a sneer. Bo questioned to that greedy kid, “So if they’re rich why did you take my penny?” Ritchie replied, “Well…because it’s just a gosh-darn penny, that’s why.” “Whatever, I’ll get you back Rich Man,” Bo said.
Of course Bo had to get Ritchie back. He was full of vengeance, all over a stinking penny. I mean it wasn’t really smelly, just “Gosh-Darn,” heh. So, Bo went in the store and picked up a nasty, dismantled, moldy cupboard. He asked the clerk, “ How much for this.” The clerk said, “Like dude, it’s kind of like worth a penny, this is like The Penny Store you know.” Bo said, “Do you mind if I pay you back later, some guy swiped my last penny.” The clerk said, “Like, what.” Bo said, “You heard me, chum.” “Get out, and aloha to you,” said the clerk.” Then Bo got kicked out. I mean it literally, he was kicked out. Anyways, Bo had a plan, a very evil plan, daan da daaaa!
Bo’s evil plan was to go home and eat lunch. He would eat like a vicious poodle. Then came the evil part of “Plan Vine Ways.” Bo would “accidentally” drop his penny on the ground. “The Rich Kid” would come swooping down on his Tarzan vine thing. Little would Ritchie know that Bo was in the treetops about to cut the vine with his cutting thingy. So, evidently, “Rich Kid” over there saw the shining, copper penny. Obviously, he swung down to get it and he slipped off from his vine. Bo thought he was still on the vine so he cut it. (These cutting utensils later on came to be known as scissors.) The vine fell on Ritchie and he started screaming, “Ahhh, oh no, possessed vine, ahhh.” Possessed vine, hmmm… how pathetic is that!
Meanwhile, in the tree Bo was saying inappropriate words…then he realized it. A “possessed vine” scared Ritchie. Bo started cracking up, then he fell out of the tree with a THUD. Ritchie finally realized that the vine wasn’t possessed. They both got raged. They went home and packed for a journey. That’s when the war started.
So, Bo and Ritchie went to find some people to start a war. Well what do you know; only absolute idiots would do that, go out looking for a war. Coincidence… I think not. Bo went into his house and pulled out “Ye Old Yellow Pages.” He saw a number that was 1-800-STRONGO, so Bo called that number. Surprisingly a girl answered, she said in a deep voice, “Yo, what’s up.” “Uhhhh,” said Bo “I’m looking for a strongo.” “Yep,” she said, “that’s me, Sally Sianum, strongest girl in all the land.” So now his crew is two. Ha ha, I rhymed, ha. On the other hand, Ritchie saw a cool dude walking down “Ye Old Road.” So he called out, “Hey.” “Yeah, what,” the guy said. Ritchie said, “Want to join my army.” The boy stupidly said, “Sure, for what.” Ritchie sarcastically, “Ummm… I don’t for swimming, for a war you dummy.” “Oh ok, I’m Sam Sold, or Sam the Soldier in some places,” said Sam. He continued on saying, “I’m the best soldier ever.” Ritchie the Rich Kid said, “So, I guess that means you’re in my army, right?” “Yeah,” Sam replied happily. “To the forest!” said everyone.
So, they were in the forest and saw two people in the trees, jumping around and casting spells at each other. They weren’t jumping at each other just casting spells. Then, the spell casters and the travelers looked over and said, “Huh?” Next, the warlock in the blue-starry robe that covered his whole body and a tan cloak said, “Hey, I’m Waldo the Wizard, who are you guys.” They all introduced themselves. Then, they found out that the man in the blood-red robe, yellow shirt, and faded gray pants was Mangus the Mage. After that, Sally said, “Whoa, that’s a nice hat, whose is it?” Waldo said, “ Oh, that’s mine, thanks,” he picked up the black hat. Ritchie said hastily, ”Ok ok, whatever Waldo-Boy, come with me, and you Mage-Person, go with the bum.” So the, Bo got mad at Richie Rich and threw a punch at him. Bo said with a sneer, “Sorry.” The war has begun!
Sally started chucking rocks at Sam and Rich like a cannon. Then, Bo sneakily climbed up a tree, no one saw him. Mangus cast a spell on Ritchie to paralyze him, it worked, and it was a direct-hit. A little later, Waldo cast a spell on Ritchie to un-paralyze him. At the same moment, Sally threw a rock at Ritchie. Then, Ritchie gets knocked down and out. Next, Waldo’s spell misses Ritchie. There’s something you need to know about this spell before I go on. It can not only make stuff still start moving again, it can also make stuff already moving, move faster. The spell hit Sam and he started getting hyper. He was throwing things like a lunatic, jumping up and down and all. Then, Bo saw this and started throwing acorns and pinecones, which he stole from cute, little, rabid squirrels, from the tree. Then, Kaman the Leaf God made all the leaves get in Bo’s way to distract him. Then, Kaman shook the tree. Bo fell out and was knocked out. Sally picked up a boulder and threw it at Waldo. Of course, Waldo is a wizard and wizards have magic. He redirected the boulder to Sally, obviously she was knocked out. I mean, it’s a boulder, come on now. Oh yeah I forgot this is a clean war, no deaths only knockouts. I know, I know, what you’re going to say, “What kind of so called, war is that.” Back to the battle. The final move Mangus picks up hyper Sam and bonks Waldo in the head with him. Finally, the both get knocked out. War Scoreboard: Ye Ones (Bo’s team)-1 and Ye Other Team (Ritchie’s team)-0. Oh yeah, there is more coming, that’s only the beginning.
In the next battle, nothing really happened. So I have no reason to explain it. Well, one interesting thing happened…there was a whirlwind. Brizald the Wind God caused it. They were fighting in the sky, on a cloud. Sally and Mangus got knocked off and knocked out by the wind. Then, Bo knocked Sam and Waldo out with a double drop kick. Next, Richie used some high-tech, fancy, gadget device to knock Bo out. They all fell below to the mountain. War scoreboard: Ye Ones-1 and Ye Other Team-1. If you think I explained, I didn’t, that was nothing.
The Final Battle never ended! On the mountain they saw two, huge, massive, giants. Waldo and Mangus used a summon spell to make the giants help them. Their names were Earth and Quake; these fellows were very, very, clumsy oafs. Every time these bumbling bodies trip and fall, well, the Earth quakes. Thus that is how we have an earthquake. Do you even know how this “war” started? All over a penny.