|During the weeks that mom was in a cast, then rehab, she needed a lot of help. Help to get her dressed, to get on and off the bed, the potty. Help to get in and out of the wheel chair, and on and off the couch. I'd put my arms around her in a big bear hug, and she would do the same to me. Then I would pivot her to whatever spot she was going to. One day as I was 'hugging' her up off the bed, I told her we have never hugged this much in all our lives!. We're making up for lost time! She laughed and agreed with me.
I continued to move mom from place to place even after she was able to stand and walk herself. I had become fearful that if I didn't help her, that she may fall and get hurt again. But, with increasing frequency, she was getting up and moving about by herself, much to my distress. But the day I realized she needed to get back to doing more for herself, I let her have at it, kept an eye on her, and assisted when needed.
Most of the time, she sits on the couch when she is up. I have put an extra cushion under the spot where she sits, to elevate it some, making it easier for her to get on and off. Problem with that was when she would get an attitude and decide to get up and take off without her walker, holding onto the furniture as she made her way to wherever she was headed. At that time her walker was within her sight and that gets her fired up and charging for it, well, moving towards it in a slowly brisk manner! It is also not safe that she would do that with no one in the room. So we put her walker out of sight in another room, and took the extra cushion off. When she needs to go potty or it's time for a nap, we get the walker for her and set it in front of her.
Now it is a task for her to get up off the couch. Pushing up with her arms, trying to straighten her legs while her butt is up in the air and her head is pointed downward. It is quite a feat to get everything in the proper position and propel herself forward and upward! Once she finally gets ahold of her walker and comes to a stand, she'll look at us and say, "I did it!" or, "The old lady can still do it!" some kind of remark like that.
There are times when she has to try over and over again before she can get up. Attitude and determination play major roles in her ability to get up. If she gets whimpy and whiny and says, "I can't do it...", she won't be able to. Then we have to tell her, " Yes you can do it, you tell yourself you can do it, tell yourself to get up and you will get up." She will start telling herself, "Get up, get up!" and very shortly she will be up and on her way.
It's the I give up, I quit, I can't thinking that will stop her from getting up or doing the things that she actually can do. Even at almost 93, or if she is tired, if she speaks and thinks 'I can do it', she will be able to. Mom has always been a stubborn, strongwilled, determined person. And even now, I won't let her quit and whimp out on herself. She is strong even if she appears frail. It is keeping that positive force at work in her mind that keeps her able to do as much for herself as she can.
Mom, the can do kid!