Old poetry

1. The Clock's just begun.

Tick.Tock.Tick.Tock.Tick.Tock

This is me now,

With no hand apon the clock

Each minute passes, and another remains

A second later, and the feeling's still the same

One Long tiring hour... This is so unfair

All these locked up emotions

And the feeling that one is afraid to share

This is the time

This is the waste

This is the ending

And the start of something new

It's like the conscious bearing of a bomb

I need to speak,

Before it goes off

It's like the beat of my heart

Another beat. Another beat.

Before it's bound to smash all apart.

I can feel me aching

I can feel it burn

I want to curl away and never return

But this is My Life. This is My Mess.

This is who I am.

So there's no giving up.

Soon, I'll look back.

And realise, it was all for a reason.

Untill then I'll just have to hypnotise myself...

...With the tapping of the clock.

As well as the annoyance of them saying:

"And how does that make you feel?"

Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock.

Time's wearing on.

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2. Glass of Hatred

It's placed apon my wall
Just above the dresser
It often makes me feel so small
and sometimes even lesser
I don't see the point in it really
But I suppose that secretly I do
With it I see things too clearly
Without it I don't know what to do.
It's pathetic, I wish it dead.
That thing messes with my head!
Seven Years Bad Luck, they say, if smashed.
But as it hangs there, it makes me feel trashed.


I wake up just to look into it.
But what I see is never good enough.
Show it up? I hate it!
I hate the view.
This thing kills, this thing screws!
I scream at it! I cry!
This is the reason.
This is why
The world's so preocuppied with looking it's best.

So, Good BYE, Mirror.
Good RIDDANCE Looking Glass.
I don't need you.
I'm perfect the way I am.

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3. Human Nature

Lost in Desperation
Lost in Despair
Crying out for freedom
Only to go no-where
Tied down by the lack of Sanity
Wasted out by the use of Vanity
Locked up in this man-handled cage
Bound down by Man-kind's rage
Hills - Mountains - Tree tops - And Lakes
Dreams and Dreams-only to Bite Back awake!
The torture of Hope, and a Long lost prayer
We seek for something- unlikely to share
To do the good or the Bad. this path leading us out
Follow a Direction, it's too late, no time for bailing out

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4. Sleeping with the enemy

You smile.
I fall and quiver.
I'm smitten.
Smitten by you.
There's something in the way you talk
I glare apon the way you walk
My eyes flare with lust at the thought of you
My heart beats. Pounds quicker when I see you
And my imagination goes deeper.
Deeper. It almost feels so real.

Your mouth. Your touch.
As you move with me
There's something there
But you can't feel it.
I can see the smeared red across the sheets.
I blink back my eyes and see only white.
You were never really there.
Just my imagination.
My little fascination.

And I can feel my self go slightly insane
What would people say if they knew...
They knew you crossed so passionatley through my pain?
You're from the opposition.
The other side.
I'm not allowed to admit.
Only hide.
.
And you-You don't see me.
I'm cloaked in invisibilty
And that hurts. It stinges like Hell.
And then I see her.
She's smirking inside her soul.
I just know it.
So I kill her.
And then.
.
Then I move my hands down your back.
Gathering the part where you're weak.
You shudder. In excitment.
You're the one that's fallen.
You're exoted by my touch.
My mouth. My senses. My Everything.
.I Kiss you one last time.
You were surprised.
I bite your tongue.
I hear your cry.
I Kick you in the place I so long for.
You keel over.
I laugh. Laugh. Laugh.
Red all over the place.
Now you're Dead.
.It had to happen.
.But no one knows. No one knows
that in my mind-
-I've been sleeping with the enemy.

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5. Razor Blade Smile

She's crying over there.
Hidden in a white corner
Does anyone even care?
No-Body could possibly understand, could they?
If they did, then why did they all just walk away?
She's looking at you with pale green eyes.
But you reflect ignorance.
You ignore the young girl's cries.
She feels so Scared.
All she ever wanted was a hug.
Anything. A sign that someone cared.
But she never got it.
Now she's alone. Facing ahead.
And before her she sees through thick motted tears
An escape route. Less tears are now shed.
A think stone falls into her heart
as she notices no one realizes
and she begins to tear all apart.
Breaking, Crying, Screaming out
People walk by; muting her shouts
This is the only way she sees.
She's only young
Never even knew the birds and the bees
RED streaks the pale white walls
A Dove flies above her head.
It flies higher releasing a welcoming call.
She floats along with it, and looks down.
Towards where she lies, still soaked in cries
And sees the little face beside hers
The one made of Metal.
It's smiling. Smiling. Smiling. Smirking.
She didn't escape this time.
She continues to cry.
She's left in the solemn world.
Feeling hurt; wanting to die
Just her and the Razor Blade Smile.

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6. Walking with the devil

I've Seen it do all these things
Worse than murder; Worst than hatred.
Torture. Plain Torture.
It craves on Seduction.
Feeds off Temptation.
Obsesses with Females.
No Gender. No emotion?
I don't know.
I've Confronted it before.
And become where I am
I still seek for forgiveness, but It's swallowed into a black hole.
It's Heart Shaped Box remains dark and blackened.
It Draws you in, for you to not bail out.
It mocks at your tears, and ignores your shouts.
I've seen it do this stuff.
Torture.Plain Torture.
I've watched it do this.
Powerless, and afraid.
I've hidden and seen this, but I happened to fall.
Now I want out, but there's no escape.
It's worse than a snake. The book had it wrong.
I should know. Because I'm always walking with Devil.

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7. Shedding the skin


I feel so trapped inside my shell
What the Hell, What the Hell?
Can't you tell, Can't you tell?
I'm hating my body.
I hate not fitting in.
I hate this feeling.
And I hate my skin!


Aren't you going to help?
As I'm screaming, I yelp
I'm crying out these millions of tears
I hate this body as much as my fears

Why don't I look like every other girl?
Why is my head in such a whirl?
why won't anyone notice me?
Not even if i scream?

I want out of this ghastly shell
It's trapping me
I don't feel so damned well
I feel ugly

Why aren't i like that girl you like?
Why haven't i got the latest 'hike'?
Why haven't i got the perfect hair?
Why does no body care?

why do i feel so bodged, so down
Am I really ugly, or just a clown?
I listened to what the others said
I let their words go to my head

I feel so trapped inside my shell
What the Hell, What the Hell?
Can't you tell, Can't you tell?
I'm hating my body.
I hate not fitting in.
I hate this feeling.
And I hate my skin!

So now I decided, I'm shedding my skin.
Getting ride, Carving out, and Carving in.
I'm shdding my skin, and releasing the past.
Oh I'm shedding my skin.
Your thoughts are nothing to me.
I'm shedding the skin.
Getting rid of al I stand in.
I'm shedding the skin.

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8. Behind the scars.

Behind the scars I'm strong
I'm really getting along
I'm forever hoping
I won't let my dreams Corrupt
I'm gonna always be coping
But there's still the huge cut
The Gash that you left behind
Tortured into my soul, into my mind
Fixated into my body, entwined into me
But now I'm leaving, edging to be free.
The Scars reveal nothing of what you did
That's just a little, the rest you hid
And So Did I in denial; afraid to admit
But now I'm moving on, I've still got my wit!
Behind these scars is a pretty face
Something that's not gonna let you break her anymore
She's no longer feeling a disgrace
Although her bruises, cuts and scars may be sore.
She's gonna escape, find a way, and eventually soar.
Behind these scars are nothing but memories

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