The Best I Can Give

This is a letter to all the wonderful friends I have made here at WDC!

The Best I Can Give

To My WDC Friends,

12/27/07

         Since this is a time for giving, even though Christmas is over, there are a few people I need to give something to and it is something that can be given year round as I have come to realize. It's not something I've spent money on or made with my bare hands, but it comes from my heart with a lot of love and all my soul.

         Back in September, I was ready to give up on life. My marriage had hit rock bottom and I was depressed beyond fixing in my mind. I reached a point where I thought no one would miss me if I wasn't around. I even figured no one would notice I was gone.

         I haven't talked to family members in years for various reasons. I never had a good relationship with my mother since I was a very young child because she lost my trust. My father divorced my mother when I was 21 and married a woman we both used to hate and decided to leave ALL of his past behind. My only sibling is God knows where, literally. No one has heard from her in six years.

         So basically the only family I have is my kids,  they were my only reason for living. I don't work. I got used to being bottled up in my house, shut off from the outside world.

         I literally had a noose hanging from my ceiling fan, locked my door, and wrote my goodbye letter to my children. The only reason it failed was because my husband broke down the door and cut the noose as I was testing it's strength.

         That same month, I found Writing.com so I started writing a few things here and there, but mostly I reviewed. I found so many wonderful things to read and some as sad a story as mine. I began to realize I was not alone, either in things I have been through in my life or a feeling of lonliness.

         There are a few people who, in a very short time, have become a big part of my life. They have encouraged me through my writing as well as who I am on the inside. They are compassionate beyond want or need sometimes and always make me smile. They have been here for me daily and have cheered me up when I felt down. Given advice, that frankly at times, I didn't want, but later knew they were right. You have shown me love that NEVER in my life have I had before.

         You are in my thoughts each night when I say my prayers to God and every morning when I awake. I may only spend most of my time sitting in front of my computer chatting or writing, but I think it's a Hell of a lot better than sitting in my room staring at the ceiling fan.

         So in closing, this is my gift to you all. Because of your kindness, friendship, caring, love, trust and compassion, I thank you for literally SAVING MY LIFE. You have given me a life to look forward to and so I give you my love and friendship for as long as you want it and beyond. I feel it is the best gift I could ever give, because it is meant straight from my heart. You've all given me the best gift I could ever recieve and I hope to continue to do the same for you.

         Thank you to my wonderful friends and loved ones on Writing.com. Past, Present, and Future!