by Gloria Lily
My way of dealing with the pain of a break up.
| It was a hot summer day about 110 degrees. I was feeling grouchy, sticky and plain miserable. I was also depressed from a recent romantic break up.
I went to the cold fish pond in a secluded place in the mountains where my lover and I used to submerge ourselves for a cool down in the middle of summer.
I undressed and stepped in, as I did sweet memories of us came crashing into my mind.
This is the moment I began to cry after waiting several weeks for the tears after our break-up to come.
The tears began slowly at first and then I heard a gut wrenching howl, it was my heart releasing the anguish that caused such torment to me from the moment I watched him walk away filled with hurt and disappointment. I cried until my throat felt harsh and sore.
Suddenly for no explainable reason I saw myself in others eyes if someone could see me and how I must look sitting in a freezing pond crying.
I began to laugh because how would they know what why I was crying? Get out of the pond you silly girl don’t just stand there freezing your tush off! That is what I would think and I laughed with loud abandoned.
Then the image of me laughing in the pond became funnier to me and I became hysterical.
My breath was caught up in my laughter and I almost choked.
This was the point that I realized it was time to retreat from the fish pond it was cold after all. I gingerly stepped out of the water as I could no longer feel my feet.
I left the water and touched the ground looking for my clothes while my body was shaking from the arctic pond, as I did so I stopped to look back.
I smile to myself realizing that I had cried in pain but also I had laughed fantastically.