The crew gets body upgrades for a high style planet, like more hands than they can handle!
|Star Commander Episode - Bust Tease
Just updated on 06/20/2008!!! My wife asked me to clean it up and fix the story line. Let me know what you think! Thanks, Jewels!
The crew must get their bodies upgraded for an adventure in recooping stolen goods! See how extra arms, extra legs, extra...everything can make life complicated! Please feel free to give me criticism and feedback. I am looking for help with this series. I will begin animating next year. Please print out a Quick Character Sketch for your reference. Thank You.
Film Type: Animated Comedy Series SEASON: 2
Film Length: 20 minutes (until canceled) EPISODE: 9
SCENE 1 – In the night, a very fancy car pulls up to Casa de Fuzz. A group of multi-appendage thieves break in and steal Fuzzywidget’s Chest of Jewels. Attack dogs get ready to attack the thieves, but they are as fat and out of shape as Fuzzywidget. The thieves drive away with the big chest.
SCENE 2 – Fuzzywidget is communicating with Star over the video relayer.
Fuzzywidget: Star, We had a break in last night. So I think that it’s time for an upgrade.
Star: Thank God, this dump is the pits. (He is in a small pile of junk in the middle of a beautiful palace like building.)
Fuzzywidget: It ain’t the building that needs upgrading, it’s your bodies.
Star: What about your body?
Fuzzywidget: Well, if it is successful on your body and you don’t die, I may try a similar upgrade myself. But you are also due a few rank upgrades based on your performance.
Star: I knew the day would come when I would become a five star Commander.
Fuzzywidget: You aren’t getting any stars, Star. You do have some purple bladders coming your way however.
Star: Purple bladders? Don’t you mean hearts?
Fuzzywidget: Well, the Universal Military Academy decided a few decades ago to split up the injury awards based on severity and location of the actual injury.
Star: I see.
Fuzzywidget: So many soldiers were injured severely, deserving the heart, however many soldiers were injured doing stupid things, like dropping things on their nuts, tripping on things and landing on their nuts, sitting on things that rip off their nuts and accidentally getting their nuts crushed in a vice. (Show Star injuring himself in these ways.)
Star: So, all of my bravery and inherent castration have landed me rewards? Oh, it is finally all worth it!
Fuzzywidget: Yes, you have received several purple bladders, a few purple nuts and a set of purple nipples.
Star: Those will come in handy.
Fuzzywidget: In fact I have several rewards to give out to the crew, I will have you deliver them for me, if you would please.
Star: Absolutely. I will give my brave soldiers their much deserved upgrades.
Fuzzywidget: Thank you. That reminds me, I need you to do some other upgrading for the mission I will be sending you on. I will need you to upgrade your bodies.
Star: So, you want me to be a perfect specimen for the others to be upgraded to?
Fuzzywidget: Oh, no Star, even you will be upgraded to improve your body even further.
Star: I will become like a super Star, able to leap tall people in a springfull bound. People will see me and say, it’s a bird, it’s a plane, no it’s some guy with a perfect body walking around on the ground.
Fuzzywidget: What ever, you will be getting an extra set of arms and a torso, so if you can jump higher with the extra weight, more power to ya.
Star: Thank God, I can use all the power I can get.
Fuzzywidget: I will beam all the upgrades for your uniforms along with instructions on how to upgrade your bodies and the mission requests. You will need to find and recover the stolen gems. I will send some diamonds similar to what was stolen for your reference. Fuzzywidget out!
Star: Wow, I will be able to scratch myself efficiently and still press random buttons. Oh, this is gonna be sweet. (He is scratching himself with both hands and presses the door release button with his nose. He walks out of the room.)
SCENE 3 – Angela and Brandi are watching TV as Star pops in to give them their mission instructions. Og is watching a spider make a web.
Angela: Ugh! Look at all the girls on TV. How can I compete with that?
Brandi: I know they’re so smart! (Busty girls doing stupid things and acting ditzy.)
Angela: What? No. Anyway I mean, how am I supposed to look like that? Women were meant to have two breasts and that’s it.
Brandi: Oh, the multi-mammary implant? Yeah, lots of girls have three now. (There is an ad that looks like Girls Gone Wild, but there are three cheesy videos covering their boobs up instead of just two.)
SCENE 4 – Commercial - Plastic Surgery gone wild
Announcer: Warning, what you’re about to see will both arouse you and make you sick. It’s plastic surgery gone wild! We took these ordinary drunken, naked girls that only look hot when you’re really, really drunk and gave them something a little extra. (Then it cuts to surgery footage, Brandi and Angela are horrified.) These girls will sign any waiver when they’re this messed up! Now they can really party! Just give us your parents’ credit card and we’ll mail it to you in a paper bag. Won’t your mom be proud!
SCENE 5 –Back in Angela’s room with the girls
Angela: I think it’s degrading.
Star: I think it’s upgrading. (Star pops in)
Angela: You would.
Star: What? It’s time for you and all of us to get our upgrades.
Angela: You can count me out. I was born with two and I’ll die with two.
Star: OK, then. Can I have yours?
Angela: Go ahead, I think you look stupid already and that will add to it.
Star: OK, well crew, I have been bestowed the honor of an upgrade, by my female companion, Angela.
Angela: Well, maybe now he’ll just grab his own boob. (Og is in the background crawling up onto a control panel. He steps on buttons and a hideaway bed extends out on a flexible metal arm and closes him inside.)
Star: In the world of navigation, I have been upgraded by one star. I am now up to a total of one half star. (He has a negative star on his lapel and when he adds the star it becomes positive.)
Angela: What? You are giving out Stars, not boob jobs?
Star: Boobs? Uh, I will service your boobs in any way I can. Did you know, I was recently upgraded to a half star Commander? (Angela rips it off.)
Angela: Shut up! That is a navigational star and it’s mine! I thought you were trying to enhance my rack. (Og escapes from the bed and starts crawling up the wall again.)
Star: Well, I don’t think it needs much enhancing, but I am willing to give you a thorough investigation and determine what creams I must rub on your boobs to please you.
Angela: You make me sick. (Angela projectile vomits on Star.)
Star: That was unexpected. (Og is crawling around on the ceiling now. He pulls a rope out of his ass and ties it to a beam.)
Brandi: Oh, my God. Are you alright?
Angela: I think so, I’m kind of dizzy.
Brandi: I-Doc! Wake up!
I-Doc: Ugh! What now?
Brandi: I-Doc, Angela just threw up. Can you help her and clean up this mess?
I-Doc: Damn it! You humans are always leaking.
Ug: Darn humans!
I-Doc: Oh, don’t even get me started on Ugonopodopolins. I think you guys just barf for fun. I mean, you guys barf everywhere all the time!
Ug: Hey, there is not a lot to do on our backwater farming planet, Ugonopodopolis. Vomit‘s all we got, man. Lay off my peeps.
I-Doc: Sorry, gees. (I-Doc starts sucking the mess up as Og repels down behind them like a spider. He starts going too fast.)
Og: OOO! Rope burn! (Brandi looks behind her.)
Brandi: What was that? (Og grabs the diamonds then starts trying to pull himself up by straining his ass.)
Og: OK, time to recoil! …Aaagh! Oh, my ass!
Brandi: What happened to you?
Og: I was trying to repel from the ceiling like a spider with this rope.
Brandi: You shoved all that rope up your ass?
Og: I didn’t shove it up anywhere!
Brandi: Oh, so it’s just in your pants. OK.
Og: No, I swallowed it a week ago. It was perfect timing really.
Angela: No it wasn’t.
Brandi: That’s disgusting!
Angela: Why do you want to be a spider anyways?
Og: I want to become a master thief. Slip in and out unnoticed. (He is wriggling wildly to get free.)
Brandi: And have a rope come out of your ass?
Og: You guys just don’t understand me. (He goes to walk off screen and the rope tightens, he falls, and is dragged backwards, where the rope holds his ass off the ground.)
Brandi: Hey, Angela.
Brandi: Star was right. The mission requests state that we have to get physical upgrades to our bodies.
Brandi: Here’s a diagram of what we’re gonna look like. (Angela is drawn with three boobs and a drawing of Brandi shows her with two heads.)
SCENE 6 – Brandi and Angela are discussing their mandatory upgrades for the new mission they are about to go on. Brandi is reading the mission requests.
Angela: I’m not sure about how I feel getting quote unquote upgraded.
Brandi: I don’t know, Angela. Everyone has some sort of implants on this planet and Fuzzywidget wants us to go undercover. I don’t think we have much of a choice.
Angela: But it’s my body. I was brought into this world with only one thing, my body. I don’t want other people to altar it.
Brandi: But Angela, you have trusted other people with your body since you were born. The doctor cut your cord, nurses have given you shots, some feminine guy at the mall gave you piercings. You’ve had surgery. There was that week where you were unconscious and Star used you as a serving platter.
SCENE 7 –Star uses Angela as a serving tray then he sticks ketchup in her belly button and eats fries out it.
Star: Oh, this is so hot! Oh God, I love French fries. Now where did I put the cheese?
SCENE 8 – Back to present time in the Command Center.
Brandi: You have trusted your body to others all your life.
Angela: That was not trust, that was head trauma. Star tries to eat food off of me all the time anyway.
Brandi: Hmm. But I still wonder why he likes to eat food off of you anyway.
Angela: Ever since he had what he calls angel fruit, he can’t help himself.
Star: But I love angel fruit!
Angela: That’s cannibalism! I’m never using growth crystals again, even if my arm falls off. I’d rather be armless than fruit bearing.
Star: I love angel fruit! What do you want from me? (He runs off.)
Angela: I am more disturbed now than ever before.
Brandi: Well we are required to have these upgrades done, so that we will fit into the local populous on planet Lypo. In fact it surprises me that enhancements bother you. You are more concerned about your appearance than anyone I know.
Angela: Yeah, but I use very specific things on my body that I know and trust.
Brandi: You mean that crap you buy off of TV?
Angela: Hey, those quote unquote doctors are paid a lot of money to recommend products they know are harmful. (They look over at the TV.)
SCENE 9 – An infomercial for Enhancez is playing on Angela’s TV. A doctor on the screen is demonstrating the product.
Doctor: Enhancez is clinically proven to increase the size, girth, magnitude and projection rate of that certain part of the male body.
Screaming guy: Aaagh! My zits are exploding! (He has huge zits on his body that are squirting pus everywhere.)
Fast talking Disclaimer: That certain part of the male body may be different for you.
SCENE 10 – Back in Angela’s room with Brandi and Angela.
Brandi: Well, Angela, I can’t make you do this, or make you feel comfortable if you choose to get the enhancements. But, I just want you to know that I care about you and I think that you are special on the inside, no matter what you look like on the outside.
Angela: Thank you Brandi. I need some time alone to think now.
Brandi: Ok, sweetie. I’ll put your door on Do Not Disturb so you can be alone.
Angela: Thank you. (Star pops in.)
Star: Woo hoo! I just got a third boob and I’m Hot Shiz nits! Check me out baby!
Brandi: Star! You only have one boob and this is not the time.
Star: It’s always time for boobies, man! Watch me jiggle! (He bounces up and down, but his gut is bouncier than his fake boob.)
Brandi: Oh, that’s so hot, now go away.
Star: No way, baby! (His fake boob falls off.) You know, I’m just going to be going now. (He walks out the door, leaving the boob on the ground.)
Brandi: Sorry, Angela.
Angela: It’s not your fault. Bye, Brandi.
Brandi: Bye. (Brandi Shuts the door and you can hear her screaming at Star in a muffled voice.) You Jack ass! Do you have any idea how much damage you caused in there?
Star: As usual Brandi, as usual, I have NO IDEA how much damage I caused in there!
Brandi: Well, that’s a surprise, Angela is thinking about getting another boob attached to her body and you come prancing in there like some hermaphrodite maniac with all kinds of disturbing jiggling things hanging of your body.
Star: I am a man, Brandi, I am a man and I like female parts. Is it a crime to want boobs twenty four seven, is it a crime?
Brandi: Everything you do is a crime!
Star: Not where we’re going, It is going to be boob central and there will be boobs on the men, and boobs on the women, and boobs on their boobs, and boobs on the walls and boobs and boobs and Boobs! …can we just go there now? I’m kind of interested in boobs.
Brandi: You sicken me! All you think about is boobs!
Star: That reminds me…
Brandi: What are you doing? No, She needs her peace!
Star: and I need my piece! Back off! (Star reaches in and grabs the fake boob. Angela is naked and looking at herself in the mirror.) ungh! Perfection at its finest… me want to touch boobies.
Angela: Ok, I’ll do it. (Star runs over to grab Angela, who kicks his ass, while naked.)
Star: That was the most awesome ass kicking I have ever gotten. Oh, just can you, uh, Oh, I don’t know, spit on me? Or, just step on my crotch or something?
Angela: I am disgusted by men. But it is my body and I will do whatever modifications to it I need for the mission. I think I would look good as a thirty-six, tri-lobal C-cup.
Brandi: You’re a C cup?
Brandi: Are they real?
Angela: Of course they’re real.
Brandi: No, way. Let me feel them.
Angela: Go for it. (Brandi grabs Angela’s breasts and feels them.)
Star: Oh, this is now the most awesome thing that has ever happened to me. Hey, Brandi, you should see if her ass is real.
Brandi: Let’s kick his ass!
Angela: Gladly. (They beat the hell out of Star.)
Star: Oh, this is so awesome! I want this to happen every day!
Angela: No problem. Let me get a shirt on and I’ll give you your ass kicking for tomorrow.
Star: Ah, never mind. It’s just not worth it when you have a shirt on.
Brandi: Hey Star, hold my shirt! (Ernie pops in and looks excited.)
Star: OK. (Brandi starts kicking Star’s ass.) This is so awesome!
Ernie: I want my ass kicked. (Angela’s shirt lands on his face.)
SCENE 11 – Og tries to crawl around like a spider, but falls on his ass.
Og: I must perfect my thieving spider crawl. (He falls off the ceiling.) Ow, my back! (Og is bent in half backwards over I-Doc’s head.)
I-Doc: Ow, my head!
Og: Oh, I’m never gonna be good at this until I get upgraded.
I-Doc: Upgraded? I want an upgrade. Hey, how do you upgrade humans?
Og: You’re the doctor. (I-Doc puts Og on the ground, still bent backwards.)
I-Doc: Oh, yeah. I must have forgotten that part.
Og: You don’t have a clue, do you?
I-Doc: No, I’m no plastic surgeon. I’m a titanium surgeon. (He pounds his chest.) So, meat, what kind of upgrades are you getting?
Og: I don’t know, but I hope it’s extra arms, so I can crawl around like a spider.
I-Doc: You already do that.
Og: I mean a spider that knows what he’s doing.
I-Doc: Hmm, I need new arms.
Og: I think most of the crew is getting extra torsos with arms on them.
I-Doc: I want a new torso. (I-Doc sits on Og.)
Og: Ow. Some of the crew members are getting boobs.
I-Doc: I want new boobs. Hey how do you know all this? They don’t normally talk to you.
Og: I was listening through the vents while I was practicing my spider moves.
I-Doc: I wish I had ventilation. (He makes a robot farting noise.)
Og: I could use some vents about now. (Og falls over, I-Doc lands on him, then farts.)
SCENE 12 – The crew flies to planet Zord to find the upgrade facility. Star is walking back from Elvira’s sexy colonoscopy. The crew is in front of a medical upgrade facility looking over their new upgrades.
Star: Can I get a new butt? Mine’s broken.
Brandi: You got another colonoscopy, didn’t you?
Star: No, I made love to my girlfriend, what the hell is wrong with you?
Brandi: Gee, I don’t know, you’re the one with the sore ass.
Star: I am, OW.
Brandi: Well, she’s a butt doctor…ish person and you need a new butt. Why don’t you go ask her for help.
Star: She’s a doctor who’s not in the habit of practicing medicine, Brandi.
Brandi: That doesn’t sound much like a doctor to me.
Star: Oh, she’s pretty good, whatever you call it.
Ernie: Now that I have four arms, I can work on making several kinds of multi appendage weapons.
Star: Also, you can make weapons that use our new arms.
Ernie: Yeah, I could do that too. (Sarcastic.)
SCENE 13 – Star gets the male enhancement, which is an extra torso. He now has four arms. The facility operates like a car wash. It rips Star apart, clones his torso and reattaches him with glue. He is reading a magazine the whole time.
Star: My new hands won’t listen to me.
Angela: I don’t believe you. (His hands are grabbing at Angela.)
Ernie: How do we upgrade the Hensons?
Brandi: We don’t have to get enhancements for the Hensons, because we can just adjust the cloner to get four arms. (They make many mistakes and get mutated Hensons.)
Henson: I’ll get it right this time.
Brandi: I don’t believe you. (One of the Hensons has two upper halves and walks on one’s hands.)
Brandi: Are you alright?
Mutant Henson: I think so. Uh oh.
Mutant Henson: I need to go take a dump.
Brandi: How’s that gonna work…ew. (They come out of the bathroom and one of them is wiping his mouth with toilet paper.)
Henson: OK, next time I get to sit and read.
SCENE 14 – The crew lands on planet Lypo. Ernie has finished some awesome weapons. Og is offered a surgery by a less than reputable doctor in an alley behind a liquor store as the crew exits the ship. The doctor offers to give him the best upgrade available and is drinking mouth wash.
Doctor: I’ll give you the best upgrade available for those two diamonds you have there.
Og: That sounds like a pretty good deal. So, where do we go?
Doctor: The graveyard. (The dark alley is lit by lightning for a second.)
Og: Are you serious? You must be a great doctor! (They walk off.)
Doctor: Let’s go. (One Henson gets double upgraded and is really tall with six arms. He hits his head as he exits the ship.)
Ernie: I can’t wait to use these new weapons!
Ernie gets over his fear and is a bad ass with four arms and holding weapons in each of them. He wears ammo around his chest and is all armed out.
SCENE 15 - Og’s back alley surgery goes horribly wrong and he looks like a mutant. He has six arms and some extra arms and legs on his back. Several are rotting and one falls off.
Og: I think I am regretting trading my stolen gems for this back alley surgery. (His arms start stealing things without any effort from Og.) Now this I like. (His own foot trips him as he walks off.) Aaagh!
SCENE 16 – Og is showing off his new upgrades to Brandi, who is looking at a map with Ug, Star, Angela and Ernie.
Og: Hey Brandi, Check out my new upgrades! (He is using all limbs to walk and steal.)
Brandi: How do you know how to control your extra limbs all so well?
Og: This is how my mind has always perceived my body. I am now in my truest form. I gotta pee.
Brandi: Ha! How are you gonna do that?
Og: I have no Idea.
Brandi: I hope your pee is a pure as your…uh…form.
Og: Nope. It is running down one of my legs…Oh and an arm and it kind of burns a little. Man, where is that pee coming from? (It is dripping down his side. Ug is enhanced with a face lift. He can reveal his face and he has a huge nose.)
Ug: I want to show off my new upgrades. (Ug drops his cloak. He is wearing heart boxers.)
Star: Aaagh! We’re all gonna die!
Angela: You knew that looking at Ug’s face would kill you?
Star: What? I saw the man drop his drawers. That’s all I need to know.
Ug: I never had one of these before. Well not on my face anyway.
Brandi: I can’t believe we all had to get enhancements. I mean who’s gonna be able to tell?
Angela: Fuzzywidget only required the minimum enhancements, so we would fit in with the local populous. (Some of the locals have six breasts, twelve arms, multiple heads, extra butt cheeks, hair growing in as clothes, and other bizarre trendy enhancements.)
SCENE 17 – They run into all different types as they traverse the planet in search of the stolen items. Then they run across a homeless guy with eyes tattooed on his eyelids, so it always looks like he is awake. He has eyes in back of head, backwards knees, and he’s crazy.
Homeless Guy: What you are searching for lies in the temple.
Star: Thank God! I can’t hold it any longer.
Brandi: Shut up Star. He’s not talking about a place to dump your bladder.
Star: I hope he is, my bladder is purple.
Brandi: That’s an award for being stupid.
Star: You’re right. I don’t have to go. (His pants become wet.)
Angela: What temple?
Homeless guy: There is a hidden temple where all the stolen items from other planets are hidden.
Angela: How do you know this?
Homeless guy: They tell all the crazy and homeless people all the secret things because no one will ever believe us.
Angela: Hmm. Good idea.
Homeless guy: You… you actually believe me?
Angela: Well, I guess so, yeah. (He shuts his eyes and starts acting crazy.)
Homeless guy: I see you. OOH, OOH, OOH! (He has eyes tattooed on the back of his head as well.)
Og: What a freak.
Angela: Come on, guys. Let’s find the temple!
Og: See ya later, freak.
Homeless guy: See ya later Og.
SCENE 18 – The guards at the door make Ernie nervous, as they are armed to the teeth and have mean dog-like faces and tons of armor. Ernie is armed as well.
Ernie: I don’t think I can do this.
Angela: Just shoot the guards, if you kill them before they retaliate, then it won’t matter how well armed they are.
Ernie: You’re right. They can’t have bullet proof vests on their heads, they would have to be really old to have their clothes pulled up that high.
Angela: Your logic is flawless, dumb ass. Now kill the guards.
Ernie: Yee Haa! Die bi-atch!
Angela: So much for the whole surprise attack thing.
Ernie: Eat lead bastards! (He blows their heads off before they even get a round off.)
Guard 1: I know my father…(His head gets blown off.)
Ernie: Mission complete.
Brandi: Ernie, you are actually a bad ass. I never thought I would see the day.
Star: Uh, you could have killed them a little more efficiently ya know.
Ernie: Really? (He holds the gun up to Star.)
Star: Oh, God that was amazing. Who am I kidding? You are awesome!
SCENE 19 – The guards grow new heads and start a huge fire fight with the crew.)
After a long battle, the crew finally destroys the guards and enter the temple.)
SCENE 20 –They get inside and see the treasure in a huge case that has the Fuzzywidget Empire logo on it. The room is quiet until a huge multi appendage beast attacks them. It is the most enhanced person they have ever seen. They battle the huge creature. It has twelve arms and twelve boobs. Some of the hands are feeling its own boobs. It sprawls out its appendages menacingly. The crew shoots at it, but the creature dodges and uses small shields on its arms to defend itself.
Star: Come on, beast! Fight me man to man! (He throws down his blaster.)
Angela: No, Star! You aren’t half the man he is.
Brandi: Yeah, even your new torso is fat. (The beast growls, then starts walking over to Star and stumbles on its many legs.)
Star: Too bad for you four eyes…twelve arms, twelve boobs, two wings, too many legs and a tail.
Beast: Go ahead, finish me off. (He talks like a pretty boy.)
Star: Really? Wow, that was easy. Can someone hand me my blaster? (A Henson hands it to Star and Star blasts the Henson. He aims at the beast.)
Brandi: Star no!
Star: Damn it. This animal isn’t even cute!
Brandi: Beast, why don’t you fight back?
Beast: I had all of these upgrades done so I would be the most beautiful creature on the planet. This is what I looked like before. (He hands them his portfolio.)
Angela: You were such beautiful man before, why did you do all of this?
Beast: Actually I would like to say that I became obsessed with vanity and did this to myself, but the truth is that I just woke up after a hard drinking party in the middle of the afternoon. I looked like this, there was a stick in my ass, my car was in the front yard and I had been burned with cigarettes.
Angela: Well I guess it goes to show that you don’t need tons of plastic surgery to be beautiful. Just a face lift, tummy tuck, lypo suction, breast implants, collagen injections, and butt hole bleaching are all you need to show your true inner beauty.
Brandi: Well put.
Beast: But that’s the thing, you see? I never got my ass hole bleached. Wanna see?
Star: Put that away.
Beast: Oh, I’m hideous!
Brandi: No you’re not, its what’s inside that counts. Og is the most hideous creature alive and I let him live on the ship with us out of sheer pity.
Beast: I guess you’re right.
Og: Damn right! Hey, can I have that rope? I mean if you ‘re not gonna eat it.
Beast: Let’s split it. (The beast pulls a rope out of his ass and Og and the beast swing off together.)
Ernie: Hey, one question. Why didn’t you ever take the stick out?
Beast: I mean I can feel it in there, but I have no idea where my ass is.
Spoken into Video Relayer, or Command display
Spoken over the ship’s loudspeaker system
Spoken over personal communicator