some erotica; bathroom humor; dark humor
|Jess sat on the toilet, firmly planted on the soft sit-ring, trying to get a grip on the bowl's edge, which was useless, given it's smooth, rounded contours, as she pushed like she was giving birth.
'Come on, you motherfucker,' she said, straining like her life depended on it. She was taking perhaps the biggest shit of her life, and Marley was watching her through a crack in the doors, which opened from the middle, the two sides sliding into compartments in the walls as people came and went.
CMyPP rollerbladed up to her as she peeked inside. 'What is wrong with you, honeybuns? Can't you see she's trying to take a dump? Can't you leave her in peace?'
'Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. She'll hear you, numbnuts.'
'Bombs away!' screamed Jess, as she dropped the payload, plopping them into a green gel solution, which prevented 'splashback' when blitzing the bowl, a common problem in olden days, when toilets were filled with water. Who wants 'that' water splashing back up on your bum?
Marley was looking at CMyPP. 'You know very well I can't do what she's doing, and, well, I'm interested,' she said.
'Oh please,' her silvery companion replied. 'You don't want to do that. It stinks, and its messy.'
'Who the fuck is out there!' screamed Jess. 'Marley, you fucking cuntwipe, I'll make you get on your back and lick me clean!'
And with that, Marley took off down the hall, leaving CMyPP to face the consequences.
That evening they were all dancing to a techno-song in the ship's Main Lobby, substituting momentarily for a dance floor, as the rather large mineral ore transportation vessel, 'Big Hairy Pussy', slowly orbited Ganymede, Jupiter's most impressive moon, and the goliath of them all. The new girl was dancing with CMyPP, flailing her arms wildly, jumping around to the pounding music in a transparent black nighty, as her perky boobs bounced up and down, leaving the silver robot to wish he had a dick.
Meanwhile, Jess and Marley had retreated to a corner, and Jess had lifted up Marley's tank top, busily sucking one of her nipples. Her hand had slipped into Marley's purple panties, as she was only wearing underwear and the top. Marley's main computer redirected sets of instructions, and she began to feel pleasure; not quite human arousal, but close. Jess's middle finger slipped gently into Marley's clit, and a rush of intense pleasure roiled through her.
'Oh, god, pumpkin, don't stop. Make me come. Get down on your knees and fuck me. Lick me. Use your fingers. Use four fingers.'
Jess fell to her knees, and with the music blasting, she slipped off Marley's panties and gently began licking her pussy, as Marley stood against the wall, spread eagle.
Later that evening, Jess, Marley, and the new girl were sitting in one of the secondary galleys, with a 365 degree windowed view of Ganymede, looking a bit like Earth's Moon, as Jess nimbly ate a slice of pizza. They watched the new girl as they sat around a corian-type black round table, with the pizza in the middle, missing one slice.
'So mom,' Jess said, snickering a bit, 'your pussy tastes really good.'
'I'm glad you liked it, my dear.'
'You're not eating?' Jess said, studying her face carefully.
'I don't like pizza.'
Marley was also studying the new subject, and something about her wasn't jiving with her scanning results. Suddenly, a huge black fly, the size of a baseball, with long sleek wings, and dangly legs, appeared in the room, having slipped out of an air vent through a misaligned ceiling grill. They all saw it, but the new girl reacted quite unexpectedly, when a very long, pink tongue shot out of her mouth and snatched it out of the air, zipping it back to her jaws, which should have been too small to accommodate the giant fly, but there she was, happily munching away, one black wing hanging off her chin.
'Oops,' is all the girl managed, before Marley, programmed to protect Jess, shot the girl with a laser, a bit like the one she used to scan her tiny vessel with, when she first latched onto the ship, originating from the same tiny hole over her eyebrow. She split the girl's head clean open, slicing through her brain, and suddenly, the girl no longer appeared human, but rather her real form was revealed. She was a giant frog, shiny green with black spots, head down on the table, in a growing puddle of red blood. She belonged to a particularly deceitful race of croaky creatures from another galaxy.
'Oh my fucking god,' Jess gasped. 'She's a goddam frog.' Jess's eyes were wide, and her mouth hung open, as something dawned on her.
Marley verbalized her outrageous realization.
'You ate her pussy, my dear,' and burst out laughing so hard, she nearly blew a battery cap, to which Jess stood up, turned equally green, and yakked all over the pizza. She fell back in her chair and wiped her mouth with a paper towel.
'Get that frog bitch out of here,' she said, not really sounding like herself.
And so it went. CMyPP jettisoned the frog bitch into space in her tiny craft, minus her arms and legs, never to be seen again. By anyone.
In the Main Kitchen, Jess slowly stirred a huge pot of thick, buttery yellow soup, so aromatic, it delighted her nose to no end, as Marley, in her raspberry panties and bra, and nothing else, leaned in to french kiss her, while grinding fresh black pepper into the bubbly cauldron. The long kiss was sensuous, and Jess's nipples were getting hard.
'This,' Jess said, motioning to the pot, 'is a rare delicacy, and if you could enjoy it, my dear, you would compliment the chef.'
'Somehow,' replied Marley, 'frogs' legs soup wouldn't make the top of my list, I think.'