by Scorpio Lady
Write about what you really feel. So I did
|WORDS ON THE WIND 2008 and 2021
So now I sit waiting. It feels like a huge piece of me is missing. My heart is heavy and I want so much to see him, be with him. The frustration I feel is overwhelming and every time I get even a glimmer of hope that we shall meet, it is snatched away again like an angry child taking away a toy.
I am so afraid that I will be left behind and he will continue his life without me… like he always has done: Like he always had to. For him to be able to live without me, tears me up inside and my emotions are left fluttering in the breeze.
I am unable to release the fear I have, stranded deep within, and so he will never know how I really feel about him. Would he really care? I ask myself, time after time, like a mantra beating over and over again in my mind.
He has no time for me as he has left without me and cannot return for me.
I am stranded on this island, that only he knows the location. The pain and emptiness is deep and wounding. I pray on every star and cross I see and beg every angel and anyone who will hear me: Please help me. Help me find him again. Bring him back to me.
No one hears me though. Everyone has abandoned me and I feel I am left, struggling in a sea of grief and despair.
I call out to him:
‘Can you hear me my darling? I love you and we need each other. Please, please come back to me.’
The words I call out come back to me, unheard and I retreat back behind my wall: the fortress I have built around myself for my own protection.
I feel I have no choice but to pack him away, back in the past where he belongs. I love him and will always love him until the day I die and into the next life. If he does not come back to my island, he will never know.
So, sitting on the rocks, I call out once more,’ Darling, come back to me.’ This time I hear the echo of my words as they bounce across the seas and into the distance, reaching out towards him.
Now I sit back, hug my knees and wait for his return.
Scorpio Lady Sept 08
13 Years Later, after we finally met.....PART 2
Heart heavy, heart sad
Should I have left things as I had
Happy memories of us together
Now all I have is too many other
Really don’t know what to do
How to see this hard time through
When I move towards him, he does retreat
What must I do, beg at his feet?
Beg him to open up and see me
Beg him to see how happy we could be
He is always there in my mind's sight
He is my drug - my Kryptonite
Do I persevere – pack in back in his box
I heave a deep sigh – caress the locks
Looking for answers to questions I seek
I feel the metal cold on my cheek
Finally it dawns, I must give him more time
Only then, will I know if he's mine
Give him a chance to find his own feet
Our turbulent cirlce at last complete
Suddenly he sees me, for who I really am
His mind has cleared – he has a new plan
Together to live out our very best life
Maybe one day, as husband and wife
I know you have looked and now you see
Please, Purcat, come back to me
Scorpio Lady July 2021