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Rated: 18+ · Short Story · Action/Adventure · #1494068
Bright lights and no brains.
            "000?" Muzzy woke up with a startle. M was standing infront
          of his lazyboy chair. M, the superviser of British Inteligence
          elite 00 branch of spys, was wearing a leather biker suite with
          her Union Jack helmet under her left arm. "Ehm .. cookie?"
          Muzzy offered her some chocolate chip cookies.

          "Cookies? Bond is in trouble, he needs your help!" M was very
          stern; "Get up! England needs you!" Muzzy stood up followed
          M to her Harley. "Well, don't stand there hop on!" She shouted.
          Muzzy clutched M as she pulled a wheely.

                    "There are people who believe that advertisement
                      is about selling things. It's not. It's about soft
                      propaganda. We've deciphered a Lincoln Continental
                      commercial. There is a global conspiracy to turn all
                      women into mindless sextoys."

          There was fear and anger in M's voice. "Soooo, what's my part?"
          Muzzy hugged M closely beneath her ample British bosom.
          "Bond has succumbed to a gang of mad models." M pushed Muzzy's
          arms down; "You are the most insanely horny man I could find.
          Your the bate." Muzzy dropped his hands down to M's leather crotch
          "Keep it under control! 000!" M moved Muzzy's hands up.

          A jet and jeep and burro brought them to the mad models' spa.
          Muzzy strained his eyes to see through the bamboo. Suddenly a
          distinct crackling noise came from underneath. The rotted bamboo
          underfoot made it impossible to walk quietly. Wriggling out from overhead
          like a white monkey; a mad model dropped in front of them.

                      "If I laugh, it's so I won't cry!"
                        I'm so small, so fat, so ugly!
                        My skin is too dry, too oily!
                        My hair is frizzy and flat!
                        I hate my nose! It's too big!
                        I have big pores and blackheads
                        and zits!
                        MY BOOBS ARE FLAT!!!!!!!!"

        The mad model lunged at Muzzy. Instinctively, he caught her and
        spanked her tiny bottom pink. "For God's sake Muzzy we have a
        mission!" M was shocked. "Where is Bond?" Muzzy queried.
        "He's getting a mud bath with some other ugly women." she giggled,
        "Spank me; I'm dirty!" Muzzy initiated a firm high spank under the
          butt cheeks. "Alright! Let's get moving Muzzy!" M was not happy
          with the scene in front of her.

          Weeping and laughing hysterically the rail-thin mad model scampered
          a head of Muzzy. "Heh-he-heh, I broke a nail. He's over there." her
          spider like finger pointed. "Oh? M! I found the mad models." Bond
          smiled and strode from the mud bath into a shower. "You didn't
          answer my calls, James. I thought you were captured." M handed 007
          a towel. "Captured by women; well that's a soft cage." Bond smirked.
          "I think I'll investigate this spa for terrorists..." Muzzy entered the
          massage room, leading the tiny mad model by the hand with the
          broken nail.

          "Thank you, Muzzy. Enjoy the spa. I don't doubt you can keep these
          models occupied." M smiled and left with Bond. "Yes, mom." Muzzy

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