Still

More free association/stream of consciousness than anything, I suppose.

just call me judas
yes, like the ancient betrayer
now let's count the ways
i've betrayed
turned away
bit the hand that made
i've for my own sake
betrayed the one who has seen me
yet loves me the same
neglected the one who has never rejected
ignored the voice gently calling
closed ears to all reason
given way to this dark season, a time
when eyes are closed to the light of the world
all darkness self-imposed
inflicted by selfish addictions
inhibiting love
this isn't a game
but i've played without shame
although now my head hangs
as my heart breaks
yearning for change
but without hope
and yet--
the betrayed has made a way
for the worst of these
yes, even me
to return
to regain
to renew
all that was lost and broken
free from all the tears and hopelessness
to be restored to wholness
so unworthy, but still he loves
i am forgiven by the one
who bears the nails i've driven in
the one stained by the blood of sin--
my sin
still he loves
still he stands
with arms open to recieve this betrayer
ready to transform her
still he loves.