Thing

A poem I wrote at a very sad and dark time in my life

The thing I want the most
The thing I fear the most
The thing I hide the most
Or at least I try

The joy it brings can't last
Overshadowed by my past
The shame it comes so fast
Can't look in my own eye

This feeling that I seek
Of which I cannot speak
Makes me feel like such a freak
In my solitude i cry

It eats me inside out
At times I want to shout
In pity I wallow and pout
It makes me want to die

I can carry it no more
It's an overwhelming chore
Drained to my very core
I give up with a sigh