How Was I Supposed to Know?

dedicated to my grandfather who passed at 15...15 when written

How Was I Supposed To Know?
How was I supposed to know
That it would be the last time we would say "goodbye"?
How was I supposed to know
It'd be the last time we laughed and cried?
How was I supposed to know
That I'd never see you again?
How was I supposed to know
That I'd gotten under your skin?
How was I supposed to know
That you loved me as you did?
How was I supposed to know
When you never took your heart from under its lid?
How was I supposed to know
That you cared about me so much?
How was I supposed to know
When you never even implied such?
How was I supposed to know
That time I held your hand
How was I supposed to know
That would not walk this land?
How was I supposed to know
When I was sent away?
How was I supposed to know?
It kills me everyday.
I was supposed to be with you.
I was supposed to be there to cry.
I was supposed to be next to you
Grandpa I wanted to be there when you died.