Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/view_item/item_id/1571531-You-Are-What-You-Drink
by RatDog
Rated: 18+ · Article · Satire · #1571531
When the bartender asks what you're having, choose carefully...
A man's drink of choice says a lot about his character:

Wine - You're mature, sophisticated, creative. You most likely have at least one piece of fine art hanging in your home.

Beer - You're gregarious, outgoing. You probably enjoy bowling or softball on the weekends.

Scotch - The favored drink of doctors and lawyers. Scotch says you are above the common man, or at least you imagine yourself to be.

Vodka - You like to drink a little more than you should, but you're still functional. Vodka fits your lifestyle, you can cover it up with breath mints.

Bourbon - You like to live away from the crowd, out in the country, maybe in a trailer. You still own your first car, it's in the back yard up on blocks rusting away, along with your second car, and your third. You value close family ties, you may even be married to your sister.

Tequila - You never age, you're still hanging out with college kids at the same old club, singing karaoke, joking and having a good time. You think you're the life of the party, but the sad truth is they're laughing at you not with you. They think you're a pathetic loser, and if you quit buying the rounds all your young "friends" would soon disappear.

Jaegermeister - You're a bold man. Once you start drinking you never worry where the night might lead. You may up sleeping in your car, on a friend's couch, or even or in a jail cell once in a while, but you always you bounce back ready for more.
© Copyright 2009 RatDog (cyam_01 at Writing.Com). All rights reserved.
Writing.Com, its affiliates and syndicates have been granted non-exclusive rights to display this work.
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/view_item/item_id/1571531-You-Are-What-You-Drink