Interpersonal relationship communication; Starting with the ones you love.
|We all have people we love; spouses or significant others, our mothers and fathers, our siblings, aunts and uncles, cousins, grandparents, nieces and nephews and our children. The way we speak to each of those individuals is a representation of that love. Sometimes it is serious and sedate, other times fun, upbeat and silly. We can be sarcastic, ornery and even on the edge of rude, but when done in and received in love, it is a special interaction. We educate, guide, direct and order. We request, ask permission and suggest. We praise, support, encourage and compliment. We chat, small talk, tell secrets, brag, prod and gossip. Our daily lives with those we love is an endless barrage of words, that when given in love, is a heritage to be past down for future generations.
Why then, do we have such a hard time communicating with those we love? Why have communication skills not been taught better? Why do we have misunderstandings and arugments? Why do some people not even want to say what they should? Is a debate a bad thing? How can we learn to 'have a fight' and still love each other?
It is amazing to me that the world has not folded in on itself due to lack of appropriate communication skills. Whenever you have any two people in the room, be they male, female, 20 or 80, any race, any religion, any political affiliation, you are going to have two different opinions, beliefs, ways of looking at things, ways of saying things. Just because you might see and say things differently, doesn't mean one is right and one is wrong. A good debate can open people's minds to the possibilities, to things they'd never thought of before.
As the survivor of an abusive relationship, I feel ever so pressed to encourage good (and right) communication skills. Speaking positive things on a repetative (not montra style, just hearing good things more than once) basis, builds confidence, spirit, self-esteem and a positive mindset. I know for a fact that hearing negative things drag you down, you have no confidence in yourself, your spirit leaves you and your self-esteem diminishes. Why they do and say what they do is a tragic event in many people's lives and devastating to one's constitution. It took a number of year's to get over that which was done in months.
If you are looking to better your relationships with those you love, read on, because what you say 'can and will be held against you'. Physical marks heal and become invisible sometimes, but what is placed in the heart by words can stay a lifetime. Until you learn some of the positive communication skills, care and caution should be used. Practice, practice and more practice is what it takes to learn some of these lessons. If you are married or with someone, you should read this together. If you are a father or mother, read this with your family. Begin now, passing down the positive speaking and communication skills necessary to live a happier life with those you love.