Rated: 13+ · Short Story · Family · #1590708
I used to enjoy watching Family Feud
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I used to enjoy watching the Family Feud on TV. True, it wasn’t the Hatfield’s versus the McCoy’s type of feud, but it was safely exciting. In the TV version, no one ever murdered anyone else and the contestants didn’t leave the stage hating each other. I don’t watch the Family Feud anymore because it’s just too traumatic.
I don’t know how I landed in the middle of this silly feud. I didn’t want a Facebook account, but it was the only way to remain in touch with my extended family. My name is Lora Hatfield-McCoy, my father was a Hatfield and my mother was a McCoy. I don’t know if we’re related to the original Hatfield-McCoy’s; I do know that they were descended from the same man but different mothers.
Anyway, back to this feud. It started when Cousin Sara McCoy accused Great Aunt Hattie Hatfield of theft. Instead of discussing the situation privately with Aunt Hattie, she announced it in her Facebook blog. The next thing I know, I’m getting hate e-mail from every Hatfield and McCoy on the Web.
Cousin Sara accused Aunt Hattie of stealing a set of cultured black pearls. Aunt Hattie’s replay was that she didn’t steal the “damn pearls” and that she didn’t know the “damn pearls” existed. I didn’t know the pearls existed either, actually I’m not sure that the peals do exist. I’m beginning to think those pearls were all in Cousin Sara’s mind. That, of course, doesn’t help this situation or settle the feud.
Because of this feud, I’ve dropped my Facebook account. I’ve blocked on the names of Hatfield and McCoy in all my e-mail accounts. I’ve changed cell phone providers and numbers. I’ve sold my house and moved to another city in another state and if I could, I would move to another planet. The only way any member of my family can contact me is via snail mail at a Post Office Box in Truth or Consequences, New Mexico three thousand miles from where I live. My next option is to legally change my name, which I’m considering.