Paper Doll Gang Assignment, Autobiographical
It's the Journey
Looking back at past memories isn’t something I often do; sometimes it can be painful, especially when it comes to loss which I don’t like to dwell upon. Yet, I have to say in my life I have always had my faith in the Lord to sustain me through all the joys and sadness through the years. Losing someone you love follows you through time and space, and for me those remembrances have become bittersweet and poignant at the same time.
For me it has resulted in a year that brings me to a crossroad. I look back and wonder if the journey over the past 30 years could have been done differently and if the choices I have made were the ‘right’ ones. I think all of us wonder at one time or another about the ‘what ifs’ in life. My decision to remain single, to leave the suburbs for the city and to leave one profession to start anew in another have been just some of the things that I have thought about in the past year.
I have become an aunt for the fourth time in my life at the ripe age of 54 years. It was astonishing the feelings I had as my 52 year old brother became a father for the first time. I had forgotten what it was like to have a baby in the house, but I found there was no need to fear, like riding a bicycle, caring for Koji wasn’t such a hard thing to do… at least for me. I was just visiting for a while; my brother and his wife have the hard work of raising him day to day. But even so, this little one has been a blessing to everyone in our family. It has been fifteen years since the last child was born and all of us are blessed to have an opportunity to get to know our bundle of joy.
It has been a year for me to be truly thankful. I have a job, when quite a few of my friends have lost theirs, good health and friends who have been supportive of me when I wasn’t feeling so ‘good’ about myself. It has been ten years since I started writing again and I know now what was missing those twenty years previous to them. I wasn’t writing. I had stopped expressing my thoughts and feelings through the creativity of poetry and I wasn’t looking for others to share them with, others who have a passion for it as well. This is what I have found here at WDC, people who are enthusiastic, passionate and creative in their writing. I have become the dreamer again, the one I thought I lost so many years ago and it feels so good to have ‘found’ her again. I lost my way and found it again.
For me it has been quite a journey and I’ve picked up where I left off; my journey has been renewed. Yes, it has been a good year.
Word Count: 507
January 2010 2nd Place Winner