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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/view_item/item_id/1660269-Social-Networking
Rated: 13+ · Monologue · Community · #1660269
A slightly exaggerated account of how constant information can make you hate your friends.
Let's see what we have in store today.. I really need to update my status so everybody knows I was doing something awesome yesterday.
Who the crap is messaging me? It's probably just a post on the LA trip discussion, and that crap can wait.

.... Actually...
OH THANK YE GODS FOR MELISSA!! When my boyfriend said we wanted to share a hotel room I nearly murdered him for giving that damn Gayle an opening to try and smother me with her epic amounts of buzzkill and drama, but lucky for me my girl Melissa posted first!
Let's see, I haven't seen Patti in a while.. I should check her profile for anything new.

Nope.

I'll send Matt this new Barenaked Ladies video I found, since he's the only one who'd appreciate it as much as I do. I really need to scrape together some money for the concert though..

Oh jesus, Annie's motherfucking status. Is it a rule that girlfriends must love everything their mate obsesses about? The sad part is, once they've been together long enough and get engaged she'll just magically stop enjoying Wrestlemania and will not give a shit whether or not some 'riod-raging tough guy is a "Total D-bag"! At least she's been with Corey this long.. it's about time he was with a nice girl, even though he was hitting on Sarah the day before he and Annie hooked up.

Oh Jenny. Poor, stupid Jenny. You know hon, if you weren't my bestie since elementary school, I would make so many cracks at your retarded, misspelled updates.

Well, more than I do already I guess. I'm sorry but the combination of your insane love of twilight, you having a fresh relationshit every couple of months, and your total lack of basic writing skill just drains all my respect for you sometimes. As if you being a bit of a bitch to people for no reason isn't enough.

On second thought, you being a bitch is hilarious. But still, you're in college now! Stop having sex fantasies about fictional characters!! Maybe if you weren't trying to find "The Edward to your Bella" you'd have more luck finding a guy who isn't an uppity prick. Your latest boytoy is so wrong by the way- Lady Gaga has a penis and you can't deny it!! Her latest video may show a blurred out crotch, but the unedited fan video from one of her concerts shows the truth!

Oh no I'm talking to myself again.. God, I need less friends. Or at least more friends that I already hate.
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