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Rated: 13+ · Article · Transportation · #1697143
Humorous article about returning to transportation by horse.
I wish we’d all go back to “horse n’ buggy”. I detest cars. They stink, they make people irritable, and they kill people. Think of how horses can solve many of today’s modern dilemmas – car accidents disappear, “road rage” is reduced to a minimum, jobs are created (trail managers and farriers who repair hooves), insurance costs decline, and most importantly, our commute is reduced!

That’s right, horses would bring us back to smaller commutes and therefore a localized economy. Who wants to ride their horse 20 miles to work? No one! Most of us would definitely opt for working near where we live. Suddenly our trips would shrink, small towns would grow, and the small store-owners would spring up again to support our “suburban” cowgirl and cowboy convenience shopping. Can you see it? Instead of zooming by our neighbors, we see their faces again, and start to recognize people. We wave and trot next to them.

With no cars on the road, we’d be cleaning up the greenhouse gases too– no more ridiculously high CO2 levels. No more big oil! I know what you’re thinking…horse crap! Of course horses are “fumous” in their own way. It’s a given that we’d have to come up with some methane farms and deal with horse waste. But modern folks have forgotten that all things good come from rotting organic waste; compost and beautiful soil start with egg shells and decaying veggies that we throw out. That’s nature’s beauty – small, unseen microorganisms doing their work to help process what we humans and animals don’t want.

The best image in my mind, though, is seeing all my coworkers and managers on a horse –ha! First, I want to see some egos busted, as these hotshots try to control their horse! Horses can sense personalities, and give plenty of feedback if their owners are cruel. They aren’t like inanimate cars. They’ll make you pay if you “manage” them poorly (like most managers do to their employees). They’ll rub your leg on a fencepost, buck, or whinny. Kinda like cats and dogs- they train you to be a better human.

Second, I want to see certain folks get out of their supersized Suburbans and Navigators to bounce their plump asses on a horse! In my fantasy you can’t hide your overweight frame in a made-for-the-military vehicle anymore. You will look ridiculous with your flab moving like jelly down the trail! I’m a big believer in men using their muscles, not their leadfoots or alcohol wrists. I’m not impressed with how fast a man can cut someone off in his Porsche or slurp down a Miller. Horses help us keep our leg and stomach muscles in shape. Let’s see those larger folks slim down by riding to work everyday. (Christ -even putting on the saddle burns some calories!)

So here’s to blacksmiths and farmers, buggies and bouncing! It’d bring us back to humanity and animal care, and living life a little slower.
© Copyright 2010 Natalie Post (skyflier at Writing.Com). All rights reserved.
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