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Rated: 18+ · Essay · Detective · #1807350
Understanding Globalism
          The secret meeting of very important people began with pizza and beer.
    These were highly accomplished people and influence. They liked pizza and
    beer too. So, the fate of; (Is it 12 billion people now?) started with Domino's.

      A deep sigh; "Look were running out of fresh water! And the oil is burning
                          faster than we can pump it. Someone has to do something."
                          Fred said and took another bite of his Pizza.

      A bubbling sound; "We Atlanteans have been manipulating your markets
                                  for centuries. The more people there are the more debt
                                  there is to collect. The population isn't the problem.
                                  The problem is the rising number of stupid people.
                                  We must encourage intelligent reproduction. Perhaps,
                                  law prohibiting stupidity?"  Te took a sip of beer.

      A hiss filled the room; "Nonsense! I like stupid people. They're easier to
                                      catch and eat." Pip the leader of the Lizard Men
                                      swallowed a live rat.

      Winkin giggled: "You mortals thinks so flat. There are many dimensions that
                              could use these useless eaters. Why I know of a place
                              where mortals are kept as pets. I think you call it Heaven.
                              If you like I can whistle up a rapture and send two thirds
                              of the human herd to the happy hunting grounds."

      Christine lagarde beat the gavel.

              "As the representative of the global community of humanity I
      must strongly object to the eating of or teleporting of humans. We are
      not stupid cattle. We have a right to legal do process. Therefore, I
      will ask a vote of this council. All those in favor of eating the excess
      human population place raise your hand."

      Only Pip raised his hand and then hissed in frustration. Christine beat her
      gavel again. "Very good. Now comes the vote on teleportation. Please may
      I see a show of hands?" Winkin put up both her hands. "Winkin! Behave
      yourself!" Mrs. Lagarde scolded the faery. Winkin smiled and left one hand up.

      The gavel fell again. "Alright. Let me make a proposal. Let's have a vote
                                    on developing new techniques on conservation and
                                    planed parenthood."

      Fred the Anti-Christ belched,  "Look that just isn't going to work. We need
      a big War and lots of biological weapons to clean house."

      The other members cheered and raised there hands in favor. Winkin did not
      approve, "You never think about the damage you do to GIA! You'll poison
      everything!" Fred farted, "The council has voted in favor of Armageddon.
      Majority rules! We win!"
              Winkin glared at Fred. Christian Lagarde dropped the gavel on the lawn
      and left the cook out in protest. Fred made a raspberry at her. Winkin raised
      her flute.

                      "Don't try your sonic spacial shifting with me!" Fred pointed
      his pitch fork at Winkin. Winkin growled and vanished. Pip raised his hand,
      "When can I start eating people?" Fred gave a wicked smile, "Anytime.
      I need a scapegoat to justify my war."

      Thus, began the final purification and appetizer.

      Post Script: I hope I haven't given the conservatives any ideas.

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