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Printed from https://www.Writing.Com/view/1819158
Rated: 13+ · Script/Play · Comedy · #1819158
The effects society can have a women's self-esteem and what a celeb might go through...
Act One


We’re in the apartment of Jack Kitchener, 30. He is somewhat of a celebrity; known for off the wall characters in much of films and has been compared to the likes of Will Ferrell, Jim Carrey, etc. The apartment is in a bit of a mess with clothes, scripts and what not thrown about the place. He had brought someone, Heather Pullman (25) to the apartment for the first time in a long time.



Jack: Sorry about the mess. (Begins to pick up)



Heather: Don’t worry about it. It’s fine.



Jack: Honestly, I’m really more organized than this.



Heather: Seriously, it’s no big deal. It’s difficult to keep a clean place. I’m not going to run away.



Jack: What brought you to Los Angeles anyway?



Heather: Back in New York I was attending school. Now, I’m all the way across the states on the West Coast hoping I hit it big with this job.



Jack: Hmmm…you always speak passionately, but I’ve wondered. What made you choose to be a book editor?



Heather: The hypnotic power of words, my dear friend. They are never ceasing to captivate, to intrigue, to engulf, to entrance, to enchant, to manipulate, to persuade, and to do just about everything and anything that is possible to make literature an art, to make it impressive, bold, distinguished, and just plain amazing! (Plops back onto his couch)



Jack: There is something about you Heather. (Pauses for she looks as if she is about to say something, she doesn’t.) Yeah, I know cliché. Don’t yell at me. (Moves towards kitchen) Want a drink?



Heather: Tell me you have beer. (He nods) Then I’ll take one.



Jack: (Reappears with drinks in his hands) Well, today was exciting.



Heather: I am not sure I’ll ever get used to the flashing of cameras everywhere I go. People don’t care to know my name. All they know is “I’m the mysterious woman who has been caught with Jack Kitchener.” Surprised there isn’t insults riddled with that headline. I don’t exactly look like a Megan Fox.



Jack: She isn’t even that good looking.



Heather: Ha, thanks for being a friend that tells lies to make me feel better. (Raises beer bottle as if to cheer)



Jack: That was- (There’s a knock at the door.) I wasn’t expecting anyone. (He gets up to answer it. When opened Heather can instantly tell who it is, by the large purse on her arm. She moves to grab her belongings)



Teresa: Hello, Jack! I have been waiting for you to call. You said that we were going to rehearse our kissing scene.



Jack: Um, tonight is no good. (She ignores him and waltzes into the room)



Teresa: Ah, is this that girl I’ve been seeing all over the covers of magazines? Tell me what’s your name?



Heather: Ha, yeah, nice try. I’d rather remain anonymous.



Teresa: Oh, come on baby! You know you want all the people talking about you and the famous Jack Kitchener. It would be your own little entertainment, of course, until everyone suddenly forgets about it as if it never happened.



Jack: Teresa, can we schedule for Monday afternoon?



Teresa: No, no, no, dear, we must practice tonight. This girl here can watch. We could use an audience.



Heather: I’d rather not watch you throw yourself at him. I would like to keep my dinner down. (Jack stifles laughter)



Teresa: Haughty little girl, aren’t we?



Heather: Yes and no. But I’ll leave you too alone.



Teresa: As I thought. (Gloating; she has won)



Heather: (Turns around from the door that she about to exit through) Excuse me? Actually, on second thought, I’d love to watch.



Jack: That won’t be necessary because Teresa is leaving. (To Teresa) Don’t make me throw you out.



Teresa: Fine. I’ll show myself to the door. (Exits)



Heather: (still standing by the door) That was strange. Not sure I want to stay here and finish the beer.



Jack: Please, do. I have no idea what that was all about; I did not schedule any sort of “practice” with her.



Heather: Then what is your excuse for Monday?



Jack: I just said that in hopes she would be satisfied and leave. She is the worst actress I had ever had to work with!



Heather: (reluctantly puts belongings on the desk near her, she resumes her position back on the couch) Teresa Marquez. The biggest female actress around and Jack Kitchener the biggest male actor around doesn’t like her? Beautiful story.



Jack: Only you would find that beautiful.



(End Act one, black out)



Act Two




The act opens to the setting of a movie, “Society” Jack and Teresa are in place for the crucial scene: the kissing scene. Jack (Albert) is not prepared; Teresa (Stephanie) is in hysterics that it is about to happen. The two characters, Albert and Stephanie are in Albert’s apartment. It’s cleaner and more organized than Jack’s. Albert Kingston, 30, is the lead singer of a popular new rock band. Stephanie, 25, is just a normal girl who somehow ran into him on the streets of Hollywood, while having been there for three months working to be actress.



Albert (Jack): Why not? What’s holding you back from…from us?



Stephanie (Teresa): You are, (laughs), you are “Prince Charming” the “white knight” the “tall, dark, and handsome that every young girl is conditioned to desire. It’s what we continually search for, at least girls like me. Normal, not pretty, and just plain boring; we search and search, Albert, and wind up wallowing in disappointment. This us, that you speak of could not live in this society.



Albert: Forget the world, forget people! When I am with you I feel like we’re the only two people in the world. (Jack starts to laugh)



Director: Cut! (Jumps from chair, approaches Jack) What was that?



Jack: The cliché. You don’t see it? That has to the most ridiculous and trite line ever written.



Director: Are you suggesting we ask the writer’s for a change?



Jack: If I have to say it I will, it’s a paycheck, but these words rolling off my tongue feel powerless.



Director: What do you propose Albert says then?



Jack: Um, well, I don’t know. How about…he just kisses her right then and there? (Teresa giggles)



Director: All right, let’s work it. (Everyone resumes his or her places) Action!



Stephanie: You are, (laughs); you are “Prince Charming” the “white knight” the “tall, dark, and handsome that every young girl is conditioned to desire. It’s what we continually search for, at least girls like me. Normal, not pretty, and just plain boring; we search and search, Albert, and wind up wallowing in disappointment. This us, that you speak of could not live in this society.



Albert: (Moves in for a kiss, but pulls away.) Since when did society bother you so much? The day I met you, I knew immediately that you did not care about the thoughts of others.



Teresa: (Teresa stops) Okay, I don’t know where to go from that. (Heather approaches from the back of the room)



Heather: I think I can help. (Jack looks surprised)



Director: Who are you?



Heather: I am the new intern writer sent from New York? Heather Pullman. (Steps in for a handshake)



Director: (shakes her hand, then realizes) Ah, yes! Yes. Heather. I remember reading about you. My producer Brian had great things to say, but I want you to show me what you got.



Heather: What do you want me to do? Write something?



Director: (he thinks a moment, then has it) How about some improv? You can step in for Teresa, say what comes to mind the minute you hear Albert’s line. (Teresa storms out of the studio)



Heather: All right. (A little hesitant, but takes Teresa’s place)



Director: (settles in chair) Action!





Albert: (Moves in for a kiss, but pulls away.) Since when did society bother you so much? The day I met you I knew you didn’t care about the thoughts of others.



Stephanie (Heather): Along the way the thoughts of others become too hard to ignore. We fabricate their thoughts and sometimes people aren’t afraid to voice how they think about you. There is no way any person in this world could go a day without thinking they aren’t being judged. It was bound to affect me sooner or later. You live in a superficial world, Albert. This shouldn’t be news to you.



Albert: (Jack follows up with her, shocked that these words are pouring out of him) I live in a superficial world? I like to think I am the most open-minded person I can be.



Stephanie: Guess again, Albert. You have always been afraid to truly tell people how you feel…to, to tell me how you feel about me. And now you just explode, and pour all your feelings on me now? (Heather stepped closer to him.)



Albert: (turns away) I don’t understand.



Stephanie: Why so long? (she pauses, regains composure) But…but, as I’ve said we couldn’t be together.



Albert: Stephanie?



Stephanie: Albert?



Albert: (cups her face in his hands, kisses her, lasts about a minute)



Director: Cut! (Heather and Jack hold the kiss a little longer, the director waits, they finally release) That was astonishing.



Heather: (regains composure with a deep breath) I can start writing as soon as you want me to.



Director: I would like this improv to continue. I’ll have someone get a laptop and get to typing as you speak. Let’s continue on with one more scene then we’ll call it a night. (Teresa screams)



Teresa: What the fuck do you think you are doing? Handing my part over to her? I don’t think so. (Gets in the director’s face)



Director: Teresa, this is for the better. Don’t start with me.



Teresa: Dad! (Stomps feet, no one is surprised, except Heather) Why do you always threaten me?



Director: Teresa, you’re 25, don’t throw a fit. There are other roles out there in the world for you.



Teresa: Fine! (Gives Heather a childish glare, exits)



Director: All right, you two. This next scene is Albert and Stephanie the next morning after, well; we all know what happens after that kiss.



(There is a prop kitchen set up adjacent to the living room set. Heather and Jack head over to it as the crew of cameras, etc., follow them)



Director: (once in all place) Action!



Albert: Stephanie, Stephanie, Stephanie. (He wraps his arms around her as comfortably fills herself a glass of water…she’s a bit overwhelmed at how comfortable she is doing this)



Stephanie: Albert, Albert, Albert.



Albert: Funny. Now, what?



Stephanie: Um, we pretend it didn’t happen. That’s what I’m going to do. (Heather begins to look for Stephanie’s belongings around the place; she exits out of the kitchen into the living room with a purse and jacket, still not sure how she was just coming up with this stuff.)



Albert: (He hadn’t moved) That’s it?



Stephanie: I was lucky, but we still can’t be together. It-



Albert: Society, I know.



(End Act Two)



Act Three




One more month of production and the movie has gone through all the channels and is about to hit the big screen. Heather and Jack are in his apartment preparing for the premiere night.



Jack: (fumbling with his tie) You know you are quite the talented writer.



Heather: (Already dressed in a nice black dress, showing off her beautiful curves) I did not write, I just spoke aloud.



Jack: Yes, but it’s your words that went onto paper.



Heather: No, Jack, not all. You followed my improv, we co-wrote the movie.



Jack: (realizing this for the first time, apparently) Oh, yeah. That’s right. I seriously felt like you had done all the work.



Heather: Guess again, my friend. But I did take part in the editing process.



Jack: (comes out of the bedroom) Whoa!



Heather: (shocked) What?



Jack: You look amazing.



Heather: Uh-huh, sure. I’ll take that compliment as if it came from my gay best friend.



Jack: Heather, why do you ignore the feelings? You know what happened between Stephanie and Albert is what is happening between us. I’m not that stupid.



Heather: Because as Stephanie would say. It’s society, Jack. If people witnessed us together on the streets they would shit bricks and wonder why Jack Kitchener couldn’t get anyone better looking. They would assume that this bulge here (pats her stomach) would be a pregnant belly and the only reason “you’re with me” is because you’ve knocked me up. People are vicious and I don’t think I could handle the insults.



Jack: We could handle the insults together.



Heather: Comforting, but still not enough. (Jack still fumbles with his tie) As always a man can’t tie his own tie. Let me. (She ties it)



Jack: That’s why I have you around you know, to tie my tie.



Heather: I knew it. (Laughs)



Jack: It’s not the only reason. (Moves to kiss her)



Heather: (jumps away) No! Jack, I have told you many times to forget about it. We’re just friends. Stephanie and Albert are no more. This is Heather and Jack the good friends.



Jack: You can’t shake me that easily.



Heather: Jack! I’m serious. Stop trying.



Jack: I’m tired of the society bullshit, Heather. I am falling in love with you and that’s something people will have to respect.



Heather: Easier said than done. Yes, I am using a cliché, but honestly, Jack, have you completely searched your feelings? Do you trust them enough?



Jack: (anger in his voice) That’s ironic! You’re asking me if I trust my feelings?



Heather: What’s that supposed to mean? I know mine very well and they feel nothing for you. (A lie, of course)



Jack: Ha! Keep telling yourself that darling.



Heather: What do you want me to tell you, Jack? Huh? That I am falling head over heels for the famous Jack Kitchener? That I am living every girl’s dream from the age of 18 to 40? That I am-



Jack: That you love me! God damn it! You are the most frustrating person. Usually, the women I try to date admit they love me after the third date.



Heather: (she says her words so convincingly and with ease) There you go assuming that I love you.



Jack: I wish you hadn’t an ounce of acting skills in your bones, because if you didn’t I’d be watching you cripple underneath the weight of your feelings.



Heather: Ah, Jack, keep it up and I’m going to have to hurt you.



Jack: Hurt me? You’ve been doing that since the day you stepped in for Teresa.



Heather: Trite. Wow me Jack. Just wow me. (Heather plants herself on the couch)



Jack: I am superficial, Heather. I am. I learned that from Albert. I had been attached to the materliastic and the most grotesque personalities of women, because well that’s what I’ve been trained to do. You search for your prince charming; I search for the socially acceptable female counterpart.



Heather: (she feels a bit defeated) Fair enough.



Jack: How else am I supposed to say it? When it comes to intimacy there is always clichés, trite sayings, and common ones! What surprise do you expect from the words you hold dear? What different phrase, words, and explanations can I say to make you understand?



(Silence fills the room, as there is a blackout)





Act Four




Lights go up on Jack’s apartment, where a small after party is being held in celebration of a hit film, everyone has changed into comfortable clothing. The critics loved it, and they believe so will the world. Heather feels like all of this is a bit overdramatic. Jack can’t wait for Teresa, the director (Richard) and Brian (Producer) to leave, but Heather is showing the annoyance more than him. Teresa is tipsy and all the more melodramatic.



Jack: Okay, okay, shush. (He stands up and attempts to act out an impression of George Clooney).



Richard (Director): Oh, oh! That’s, um, the Ocean’s Eleven guy! Not Brad Pitt, but uh-



Heather: (as if she already knew, without enthusiasm) George Clooney.



Jack: Thanks Heather, give them points, why don’t you?



Heather: This is getting boring, I’m sorry.



Jack: (sits down next to her on the couch) Well, then perhaps it’s time for us to call it a night?



Richard: Ah, no, my boy! One more round, please.



Teresa: Yes, yes! And I’m on Jack’s team this time.



Richard: I suppose that leaves me with you, Brian.



Producer (Brian): Richard, let’s kill these youngins, please! (They go first, and draw a slip of paper from a hat. Brian imitates the opening of a candy bar, first letting them the know it’s two words.)



Richard: Peeling a banana! (Brian shakes his head and then imitates a baseball pitch and hits it with it a bat) Ah! Babe Ruth!



Heather: That’s close enough, round over. (she had made the clues so she had been trying to keep her mouth shut)



Jack: That’s fine with me.



Richard: All right, we’ll leave you two lovebirds be.



Heather: Damn it! How many times do I have to tell you people it’s not like that?



Brian: Hmmmmhmmmm, honey, it’s not like that at all. (Grabs coat of the back of his chair. Richard gathers his things and he attempts to help his daughter out)



Teresa: HA! You know the two of you have been fucking left and right. Seriously, stop trying to hide it, Heather. The tabloids sometimes tell the truth. (She is in Heather’s face, gives her cocky grin)



Heather: Why don’t you just take your booze smelling breath and get out?



Teresa: What are you going to do if I don’t honey?



Richard: Nothing, is what she is going to do. Let’s go, Teresa. (Brian and Richard grab her by the elbow and escort her out, they exit)



Jack: You’re going to force me to give up aren’t you?



Heather: If it takes my entire life even when I’m married to someone else.



Jack: Very persistent.



Heather: Yes, I am thank you. (Resumes her favorite position on the couch)



Jack: You don’t have to look like someone else for me to love you.



Heather: Give it up, and talk about something else. I think I’ll go home soon.



Jack: Heather, you are beautiful. I have no idea why you are letting something so trivial get in the way.



Heather: (stands up in a fury) It’s not trivial when you are the one that is going to be constantly berated up and down the street anywhere you go. Did I tell you that I went- long before we filmed the movie- I had gone to a Conan O’Brien show and there was recognized as “the mysterious girl?” Right outside the studio I was bombarded by a group of women. Then the most vulnerable moment of my life happened. One of the women in line spat in my face and said, “Jack, doesn’t deserve a fat, ugly bitch, like you.” This woman looked like a teenage boy’s wet dream. I felt like I had melted into a puddle of water. (Near tears) I never went to the show, for fear something like that was going to happen inside. I was insulted long before you considered us as an “item.” Have you Googled us on the Internet? (Jack looks confused as if he had no idea that were possible) Yes, we were talked about on the Internet since the first day we met when I practically tackled you to the ground. Paparazzi stormed down us on like vultures and we were headline news on TMZ. The Internet has these websites in which there are discussion forums. Find some of those threads about us and almost 90% of what is being said is about the fact that I am not a size two. (Gathers things, stands to leave) Look it up some time Jack. (Exits)



Act Five



Jack sits alone in his apartment (that is still not clean), he hasn’t heard from Heather. It’s been another three months. Jack had kept fuming over the last words he heard from Heather; he hasn’t taken any other work since she stormed out of his apartment. There is a backdrop behind him that will show an image of the discussion board posts when he has found them.





Jack: Just do it. Just type in “Jack Kitchener and mysterious girl.” (He types it in and searches for a link. Once he clicks the image appears, he reads it aloud, almost speaking directly to audience)



KitchenerLover19: This mysterious fat girl needs to get a life. Come on! Jack would never go for her. He probably doesn’t even see her anymore after that “run” in they had. Didn’t you see? Her fat ass practically knocked him over!

That’s what you get for engorging yourself.



(Jack gets angrier at each post read)



ComedyFan22: dude, jack kitchener is a funny man. maybe this is one of his jokes? I mean, he did his first dramatic role recently, but come on! this has to be a joke. he would not lower himself to be with someone like this girl. by the way this girl is not so myterisious anymore. her name is heather pullman. she was in the movie society with him, people!



PictureThis: Ha! Society was a joke of a movie. A tall, dark and handsome man falling for the fat girl? Yeah, Heather wishes that were her real life!



Freethinker: Come on, have a heart people! Let him be with whom he wants.



Jack: Finally! Someone who isn’t…isn’t vile. (Continues to read the rest of the comments)



Juicemaker: yo, come on! jack does desirve better tan dis heather girl. I’m 18 and ready for some lovin’ I could do so much betta, jacky boo.



KrazyKitchnerFan: OH MY GOD! I CAN’T BELIEVE THAT HE IS WITH THAT! THAT IS LIKE A BIG BLOB, NO THE BIG SCARY BLOB LIKE THE MOVIE. SHE IS DISGUSTING!



(Jack nearly punches his computer screen, but refrains and reads the last comment; He stares at the last post for several minutes...silent)





PassionateWriter: Wow, the vulgarity of the human race never ceases to amaze me. Some day people may be nicer to each other, but I am not going to hold my breath and wish for that day to come. It would be a waste of my time, like this is a waste of my time to tell you people that the place where your heart is supposed to be is a bottomless pit filled with the refuse of feces and disgusting bile. You are scum and that’s all you will be.



(Image is behind him the entire time he stares at computer screen…then he shuts off the monitor and blackout.)







Act Six


Heather is sitting in a restaurant, alone. She has dramatically changed her facial appearance and hair in hopes she wouldn’t be immediately recognized. She restlessly keeps looking at her phone as if waiting for someone, who isn’t going to show; she hasn’t taken another job since storming out of Jack’s apartment. To her surprise, Jack would make an appearance at the same restaurant.



Jack: Yes, yes, that’s true. You’ll do great.



Teresa: Please, Jack don’t screw with me. She’s really gone?



Jack: (ignores question) All right, so what do you want to eat? I think I’ll have (he picks up menu) the chicken sandwich. It’s so good here or perhaps the wrap? Haven’t had the wrap.



Teresa: I don’t care what you want to eat. Is Heather really gone?



Jack: Teresa, I didn’t bring you out to talk about Heather. Now, let’s just eat.



Teresa: (Taken aback) What are the paparazzi going to say if they see us?



Jack: You know what they’ll say. Isn’t that what you want?



Waiter: (Sets glasses of water down) What can I get you?



Teresa: You’re right. Let’s eat. (she smiles)



Jack: We’ll have two chicken wraps. (Jack hands over the menus, waiter exits)



(Heather is still sitting, hunched over her food. She keeps looking back at the people sitting behind, hoping they don’t move. Jack shifts in his seat, as the table nearest him bursts out in amusement.)



Person 1: Ah! You are Jack Kitchener!



(Heather hears this and assumes that it would be time to make her exit. People at the table behind her stop her.)



Person 2: You are Heather Pullman! I’m such a huge fan. You are truly an inspiration to a college girl like me.



Heather: (Smiles) Yes, yes, thank you, but I really must be going. I am glad you enjoyed the movie.



Jack: Why yes I am- Wait, Heather? (He jumps up swearing he heard her name. He quickly signs a napkin for the fan and follows the glimpse of a girl he saw running out, blackout)



Act Seven




Scene is set up outside the restaurant. Jack has indeed stopped Heather. There is a bench outside the restaurant.





Heather: (she looks up and rolls her eyes) Jack, I don’t want to talk to you.



Jack: Hear me out, Heather. It’s been three months.



Heather: You and Teresa seem to be doing well.



Jack: You were in the restaurant then? Teresa means nothing. I was just satisfying her…to-to get her off my back.



Heather: (ignores explanation) Fine, talk, Jack. We’ll talk right here. OH—LOOK! How conveniently, this bench was placed? (she gestures for him to sit)



Jack: So sarcastic. (He sits, not arguing anymore) But please-



Heather: Jack, I don’t want to go through this again.



Jack: This isn’t particularly about us. It sort of is, but isn’t. Listen, I looked up one of those discussion boards awhile back and I just can’t believe… I mean…(he pauses) I think this particular message board I happened to click on was one that you yourself had been to. (He produces a piece of paper from a pocket) Does this look familiar to you?



(As Heather reads the paper, an image of the last discussion board comment is displayed behind them)



Heather: (without hesitation) I do recognize this. I wrote it.



Jack: I figured as much. There was something familiar about it. (He laughed) The irony is that those people have no idea.



Heather: That’s why I figured it would be no harm to respond, but why have you kept it all this time?



Jack: I have called and called you and you’ve been ignoring the calls. I really needed to know if this was you, because each time that I recollected those disturbing posts I read this as a reminder that there are some redeeming qualities about people in the world. This was hope in my superficial world, Heather.



Heather: You and your dramatic, romantic ways, never cease to amaze me. (she smiles, but then it fades) But what cancels that out?



Jack: Nothing does, Heather. I haven’t looked at the Internet since and frankly probably never will again. But what I want you know is that- that I-



Heather: No.



Jack: (Moves closer) Yes.



Heather: Jack, I’m serious. I don’t want to (near tears) feel like I felt when that women spit on me. No.



Jack: You won’t feel that like that. Trust me.



Heather: No, I can’t. It may mean I have extremely low self-esteem, but I don’t care. Society is important and it will never have us.



Jack: Heather! (He is near tears)



Heather: (The tears sting her, but she doesn’t show it.) No, Jack. No, no no! I can’t. (She moves to leave; he pulls her back from the waist. He holds her from behind, she doesn’t move)



Jack: Heather, this is ridiculous and I know you know that. Please, don’t- why?



Heather: (Turns around and faces him. She plants a kiss on his lips…) Jack, I love you. But we can’t be together. (She exits)



Jack: FUCK SOCIETY!



(Blackout)



End Play





I'd really like reviews of this play. It's the finished one and I am thinking of entering into a play writing competition.
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