This writing was prompted by a telephone call on the day of Mr. Obama's Inauguration
|Today, I witnessed the swearing in of the 44th President of the United States of America. No, I did not go to the inauguration, I watched it alone in my house. I sat in my bed and watched the events leading up to the very moment of his swearing in, then I got up and stood in front of my television and savored the moment. The Moment that former Senator Barack Hussein Obama, the first African American in the history of this Country, took office and became the most powerful man in the free world!
It was a defining moment. It was not marred by people pushing, crying, laughing out loud or any of those things. It was a moment when the world held its breath in awesome wonder! It was a moment that was etched in the memories of all those people on the mall, the people in their living rooms, bedrooms, kitchens, and everywhere else that they could find a place to see this moment unfold.
It was the moment in history when a Black man was taken to a place that was NOT defined by the color of his skin, but by his intellect, his skills, his abilities, his dreams and aspirations, and all that embodies him as a person! It was the moment that marked the turning point in American history. This defining moment lasted for less than five minutes. At 12:05pm, President Barack Obama took a giant step into the pages of time, and stepped across all color lines! He put a period on all of the old history, and began the first sentence in the new history and new direction of a nation!
My inauguration Day was not only championed by President Obama, but by the telephone call I received from one of my many play children, Ms. Dawn Fisher. Dawn called early in the afternoon following the swearing in of President Obama. She said "I just called to say thank you for introducing me to the political process. Thank you for taking me to the election polls and having me hand out literature for various candidates. I did not understand then what you were teaching me, but today, I am so glad that you taught me. Yes, I have a biological mom that I love, but you are also my mom, and I want you to know today how much I love you. I am also calling to thank you for all of those knuckleheads that you kept out of jail, and nurtured and took in when even their parents did not want them. You just don't know what you mean to me. I love you, and I always will." She talked to me for almost an hour and ended by saying that she was not rich, but if I just wanted something that I was to call her. Even if my birth children could do it for me, she would like the opportunity to do it, just to say thank you. By this time I am in tears, and I could hardly contain myself. And, she closed by saying you mean the world to me. Thank you.
You never know where your feet may lead you or your heart will take you. You do not know whose lives you will impact or the impression you will make. However, one thing is certain, you are going to touch someone's life, and I honestly believe that you should try with all your heart and soul to make it a positive impact! Children deserve GOOD role models. They deserve GOOD parents, and it is true, if a child can have just one parent, that parent should be the best parent on earth!
I have always hoped and prayed that I would be and was a GOOD parent, but I often feel that I have failed. My children sometimes make me feel that way so strongly that I just don't know what to do or think. I have even been told by at least one, that I was better to strangers than I was to them. I pray and hope that this is not the truth. In my heart of hearts, I believe that I tried to be the best possible parent. I tried to give my children the best possible start in life. I tried to help them see what they could be, and challenged them to be and become better people than I could have hoped to be, and now, it is this that I am being accused of along with many other really hurtful things.
Inauguration Day is truly OBAMA DAY for me. It is victory over a lot of hard obstacles. It is the end of a long road in my efforts of raising my children and grandchildren. I, too, closed the book on old history, and began a journey in a new book, one that I have no clue to where it is going to lead me. I made the decision to allow my children to stand alone, and not feel guilty if they should trip or even fall for if I have truly done a good job in raising them, they will get back up and be better because of it. What a moment in time! I no longer have to make sure that they behave like a family. It is their choice. They can learn how to forgive, forget, and move on because of their blood, the love they have been shown, and the teachings they have received. OR, they can choose to allow one act of pure selfishness define them for the rest of their lives.
President Obama's defining moment was not a defining moment for me, that came during the Thanksgiving Holidays. I don't know the exact moment in time as I did with Mr. Obama, but I know the time period. It took hours, days, weeks, almost a month for me to recognize that defining moment, and that the period had been added to the chapter, and that the book was indeed closed on how I related to my children. I had been the doting parent for so long that I do not know when I became the doormat, the banker, the unnecessary evil, but over the years as they matured and became adults, and moved out on their own, I somehow started down that road, and ended that journey November 2008.
I woke up one morning and as clear as the hands on my body, I realized that for some time now, I had been keeping my children close to me by keeping them dependent on me. Not knowingly or intentionally, but it happened just the same, and their use of me became so blatant that it was right there in my face, and I could not see it. Only through two major conflicts did I realize what had happened, why it had happened, and how it had happened. I use to marvel at the fact that I did not have empty nest syndrome. Well, you can't have it, if you keep holding on to the children for dear life, and when they can't be held onto, grab a grandchild or two. No grandchildren, get one or two foster kids, but whatever you do, do not ever be alone.
Well, today, OBAMA DAY, is and was a GREAT DAY to be alone, and alone I was, and it was GREAT!
By one definition inauguration is the act of starting a new operation or practice. A new beginning. As President Obama begins his new journey, I too am at the beginning of my new journey. It is going to be painful at times, I am sure because it is hard for me to say no to my children (truth be told, it is hard for me to say no to almost anyone). It is going to be scary at times because it will all be so new and different. I am sure that there will be times when I will revert back to my old me because it is a safe and known quantity, but it is my hope that I will not linger there too long. It is time for me to try my wings alone.
Inauguration. New birth. New beginning. New OPPORTUNITIES. A change. It is time for a change, and that change begins with me. So wish me HAPPY TRAILS.
And, now let the adventure begin.