A short preface about loving a being that does not exist in the material world.
|Inside her all is quiet. The room is dark, lit only by the faint remnants of a lonely twilight; the soft peals of birdsong grace the night air. All day she waited for this time, for when she could be alone with her thoughts, when she could be alone in that quiet place that beckoned her through the chaos and the noise.
Something inside of her has been growing. Like an unborn child, each day it becomes larger within her, yearning for its birth. She is hungry to see the fruits of the conception of her own awareness. No longer can she deny the existence of the realm for which she aches. Instead, she must bear the daily knowledge that she is not in that place, that she remains trapped in a common reality that leaves her lethargic yet agitated, empty yet cramped in a space that grows smaller by the day.
Tiny pinprick pops of electric energy dance through the air, like the charge before a lightning strike. It is the feeling one has when they think of someone right before the phone rings. She does not see him. Instead, she at once feels his thoughts and they are at once completely one and completely separate. At first she hides from him, staring at her fingernails, and then gazing out the window at her unruly garden fading into the shadows. A soft imploring mute whisper plays at the back of her neck. In her mind’s eye she turns and they lock gazes. Pure love flows from him. She receives it, feels it fill her every cell with energy and light. Sitting there in the gathering dark she wills everything in her to join him where he exists.
He does not exist in her commonplace world. He passes through it only to connect with her, and maybe others, she does not know. He has a human form, she has seen it. Back when she was a spiritual child, when she could not yet grasp the world he represented, he appeared to her as one of her own kind, or at least what was her kind before she met him. But now that she knows him, she cannot go back to who she was before. Back to innocence; back to a long and sentient dream that faded with his arrival.