The oldest child of a noble gnome house speaks of how twisted her family is.
| I don't care where you came from or who your parents are, my family is worse than yours. I don't give a shit if you were beaten and raped. Honestly, you got off lucky if that's all your daddy did to you. I was raped growing up and it happened to most of my siblings as well. If that's all that happened to me, maybe I wouldn't have to be telling you why my family makes everyone else`s family seem functional.
So yeah, I'm pretty tired of hearing how bad it is for everyone else. I recognize that look, you're thinking wow this girl is really fucked up, listen to what she's saying. Honestly, this is nothing. Maybe I should start from the beginning. I am the first born of the Thornhook nobles, Lasha Reille Thornhook. My father runs the town of Thornvale. It's a stupid name, I know. Oh and in case you are wondering, no I am not a halfling; I am a gnome. If you big folk actually paid any attention you'd know. If I hear a slave joke even murmur from your lips, I'll make sure you know what it's like to be a slave.
Where was I? Oh yes, I have six siblings, three brothers and three sisters. I guess I can tell you about them. The oldest of my siblings, Giovan, is an alcoholic. Mix that with the anger issues my family has and you can imagine how often my thug of a brother has been arrested. If my parents weren't loaded maybe he'd stay there for a while too. Maybe even, I don't know, learn not to hit the first thing that looks at him funny. Shit, he's worse than my dad. One day he's going to find some pretty girl that he thinks he can just take and she's going to be a royal or something. You can't buy your way out of that. Ha! Maybe they'd even hang him. I'd love to see the look on his face as he was gasping for air. You're looking at me again like I'm some sort of psycho. See this bruise on my neck? That's from when he tried to strangle me, so if you're trying to imply that maybe I'm being too harsh, you can go to hell.
To be honest though, Giovan is one of the most normal siblings I have. Have you heard of Kilanna Thornhook? Yeah, that Kilanna. We're sisters. Get that look off your face! Lanni isn't the girl everyone thinks she is. Did you know I haven't had a boy who's stayed with me longer than a couple days? Do you know why? Yeah, you're starting to get the picture. That bitch! She does it just to spite me too. Just to rub in my face that she's prettier and better than me. Of course she's not. Better that is. I have no delusions about her looks, or mine. No, I don't think I'm ugly, but I know I'm nothing compared to her. You know what the worst part is? The worst part. I'll tell you. The boys she takes from me, she doesn't even keep 'em; just tosses them away a couple days later. Sure some of them try crawling back to me right after but I'm not going to take her leftovers. Stupid scum.
Then there's Channa; the middle child. She's the craziest of them all. She actually has a couple goons running around with her doing what she says. She actually calls them her vassals, like she's some feudal lord or something. Shit, she even calls our butler her vassal. Our butler! She even had our butler teach her how to use a sword because, get this, what kind of leader can't defend themselves? You'd have to be stupid to follow her around. Don't even get me started on her psychological problems. She had a dog when she was younger and when it died, she kept talking about it as if it was still alive; it took her months until she stopped, and who knows if it wasn't just because she wasn't speaking about the damn thing anymore. Do you know what the worst part is? For the first two weeks she kept taking it for walks. The dead dog, she dragged it around the fucking town by a leash. If Giovan and I hadn't stolen it in the night and tossed it in the river I doubt she would have stopped. If one of our siblings died, I don't even want to think of what she'd do.
I already told you about my oldest siblings so I might as well keep talking about them in order. You look a little sick. Are you alright? Don't worry the others aren't as bad. I don't think they're old enough to have problems yet, not as bad as the others at least. My brother Cael is next. He's mostly normal. He's mute though. Never says a word, not ever. Lanni thinks it's because of Dad. Bastard. Sorry, I've thought about it a lot. It just gets me how Dad thinks he can do whatever he wants. Anyway, Cael's a good kid. Although I don't know if he'll ever be able to talk. Honestly, hes' one of the reasons I stay here. I worry about him. He's probably the most sane Thornhook in existence. He's learning to paint. He's getting pretty good too. I know someday he's going to be absolutely famous.
Cael is a lot like my youngest brother, Michael. Michael is a good hearted kid. Too much so. Too much for my family at least. He's mouthy. Michael's always trying to do what's right, even after the amount of times he's gotten beat up because of it. Once, when Lanni and I were out in Morato; we wandered too close to the Slave Market, and he had tried to free the slaves. If Lanni hadn't been there to talk to the guards, my brother may have even been made a slave himself, or maybe even killed. Maybe it would have been for the best though. I mean when he finds out what kind of monster our parents are. I don't know. He's going to die young. I know that for sure.
My last sibling? Amelia. She's the youngest. What can I say about her? Nothing good. She's already moving to the wrong place. She's such a slut. Ever since she hit puberty she's been sleeping with everything that moves. I'm sure that it's Dad's fault. Fuck, with what he did to us I'm not even surprised. Don't even think about it. Touch her and die. Yeah she'd probably sleep with you, but that's not the point. She's my little sister and there isn't a thing I wouldn't do to protect her. To protect any of them. They're monsters. My whole family is insane, but you know what? They're my family! They probably deserve death, but I'm not going to let that happen. And when I take over; when Dad retires and leaves the town to me, I'm going to run it better. I'm going to make it the way it should be.