by Don Two
Gus pitches his invention.
|Gus Gizmofinkle looked at the suits sitting at the table.
“Gentlemen, thanks for hearing me, and I hope you are able
to understand the intricacies of my invention,
an invention I am sure will change the world, not to mention
afford you considerable profit if you choose to invest.”
At the mahogany table the suits seemed half-interested at best.
There were four of them, sixtyish, with graying hair and gaunt faces.
“Gentlemen,” Gus continued, “my invention taps the spaces
inside the protons and neutrons of atoms, and in doing so
draws on that unlimited energy, making my motor go.”
Gus then clicked a clicker, and on a screen an image appeared.
“For centuries, gentlemen, what is it that man has most feared?”
“It is the lack of power--without power, machines won’t run,
the machinery of progress would cease, economies would be done.”
“But look at my motor, observe the subtle and sleek design!”
All the suits eyed the image narrowly, then one questioned, “Fine,
Mr. Gizmofinkle, I will admit it does look unique,
but is this a perpetual motion machine, so to speak?”
“Indeed, sir, it is, and the beauty is that it draws its might
from the realm of the very small, a world hidden from our sight.”
There was a collective pause from the suits, then a growing murmur
of overlapping whisper. Gus added, “Even Michael Shermer,
editor of Skeptic Magazine, knows of this and has agreed
to do a complete article, for he is aware of its need.”
“I would also add, gentlemen, it has been subjected to peer-
review by the most prestigious of journals, like Physics Career.”
Another suit piped up: “So, basically, it needs no fuel?”
Gus raised both arms and extended his index fingers. “If you’ll
recall what I said, it taps atomic nuclei, and those
once banal realms are indeed broiling, based on quantum throes."
Since Gus noticed a kind of glazed look in the eyes of the suits,
he hastened: “Don’t you see gentlemen? Goodness to bumpershoots!”
“You have the opportunity of a lifetime! For a small
investment now, you can someday reap a terrific windfall.”
“Where else can you get virtual energy? I beseech you!”
There remained a plethora of legalities to go through,
but Gus got his money and the motor production began.
The suits remained confident, and after the prototype ran
flawlessly, they grinned with the grins of men about to be rich.
As the motor whined its distinctive whine, Gus quipped, “Perfect pitch.”
Cramp Winner 2-20-13