by bob county
The Dick Act of 1902
| "I have a note from my doctor stating that I am addicted to cocaine
and whisky." A 15 year old girl explained her tardiness to Sally Feathers.
Sally was a young idealistic 22 year old Algebra teacher.
She had excelled in mathematics and science, but chose to pursue a
career in high school algebra. Sally took the note and put it in her lesson
"You still need to submit your assignments on time Trina. And I wont
tolerate anymore tardiness. This is algebra, not a rehab course."
Trina smiled and sat down in the back row. Sally Feathers sighed and
wrote an equation on the board. "Miss Feathers!" shouted a girl in the last
row with Trina. "Yes?" Sally answered. It was Trina's best friend Christine.
"I think Trina has passed out." Christine said as she shook her girlfriend.
Sally Feathers shook Trina, "Trina Bronson!" Trina's eyes fluttered ..
"Oh, I was partying last night. Sorry, Miss Feathers." Trina answered with
a wide yawn. Sally straightened her back and walked Trina to the classroom door.
"I'm calling the principle on my cell phone. Go to his office an explain why
you should be in school." Miss Feather shoved Trina into the hallway and made
her phone call to the principle.
"Hey. Trina's my girl. You can't do that." Trina's boyfriend stood up and flipped
a switch blade at Miss Feathers. Sally pulled her pistol strapped to her black
nylon thigh and shot him dead. The classroom emptied as students scurried
out and down the hallway. The police arrived with an ambulance to remove the
body. "Jesus. That's four dead students from this school." Officer Dick remarked.
"I have a right to defend myself." Sally Feathers said calmly. Officer Dick
wrote up the shooting as a justifiable homicide of a truant.
"I believe in the Dick Act of 1902. Every citizen has a right to defend themselves
under the Second Amendment .. And I have a right to shoot truant students
in self defense." Sally Feathers stated proudly.
"Oki-doki, but I'll have to take your gun until the investigation is completed."
Officer Dick stated and pulled the pistol from Sally's leg holster.
"I have many more." Miss Feathers remarked.
"You can't carry a gun until the investigation is complete." Officer Dick answered.
"Yes I can. It's my constitutional right and The Dick Act allows me to own
any weapon I choose as a member of the militia." Miss Feathers growled.
"Ah.. just what kind of weapons do you own?" Officer Dick queried.
"I don't have to register my weapons under the Dick Act of 1902!"
Sally Feathers answered proudly and continued, "I am a Native American
and I live on a reservation .. You have no jurisdiction there."
Officer Dick rubbed the back of his neck and forced a smile,
"I guess I need to talk to the District Attorney."
Sally Feathers took her assignment folder and shoved it into her valise .
Her stiletto red heels clicked over the floor as she walked stiffly down
the vacant hallway. Officer Dick turned to a NSA officer and whispered,
"Can you send a drone up her skirt?"