The court proceedings concerning Harvey Wallbanger, Jack Daniels, and Me
|Poor Harvey Wallbanger is innocent
he did not mean to bite,
but between the cat and myself
we gave him such a fright.
You see, Your Honor, this is how
the incident occurred.
I was in my backyard dozing
when a yowling noise I heard.
I got out of my lawn chair
to find Jack Daniels in a fix,
the cat was caught between a rose bush
and a huge pile of loose bricks.
Instead of calling 911,
I rushed to Jack Daniels' aid;
in my desire to rescue the cat
I stumbled over the garden spade.
I fell through the wooden fence
and into Harvey Wallbanger yard.
Jack Daniels' yowling had woke the dog
so he was already on guard.
When I broke through the fence
I landed on Harvey's favorite bed
and scared him even more;
thus he bit me on the head.
Your Honor, Harvey Wallbanger is innocent
he isn't a vicious dog,
he is gentle as a kitten,
why he won't even harm a frog.
Please, spare his life, Your Honor,
Harvey Wallbanger is my friend
he never chases Jack Daniels
and he won't bite me again.