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Rated: 18+ · Novel · LGBTQ+ · #1935830
The first volume in a twisted love story set in a northern english town.

He stood with his arms wide open.
“Sammy, there’s a whole world out there and we need to grab it whilst we can.”
But that’s Teddy for you. He never understood the seriousness of life. Every crack, or smudged line – he lived the perfect bliss and that’s why I feel so deeply in love with him.
Teddy played the guitar. Notes that would linger chill you through to the bone. After each song I would simply turn to look at him. Creativity was at its peak. Sparking like sun-kissed water.
Thinking about it, even now, makes me sad.

Forty years before now, I was an undisputed player in a corrupt world. Music was my kin. Unforgiving at times, painfully truthful but I never let go.

Chapter One

A Dangerous Game

31st December 2009


“Don’t say this about our creative differences. That’s bullshit and you know it Teddy!”
A Teddy signature pause. Enough time for the guilt to creep in. I stuck my ground that day. Band Practise was my life, and not some cocky ‘I can hit all five colours on Guitar Hero’ is going to ruin it.
A small smile cracked between his cigarette and devilish lips.
“You’re only saying that because I can beat you.”
I sighed. This man is in insane. His boyish charm and throw me to the lion quirks makes me want to scream.
“The thing is Sammy…music aside and I suppose all the stuff with Jaime… or maybe it’s the Aldi wine talking…”
I raised an eyebrow. I was waiting for him to finish his drunken slur.
“…I want to fuck you so bad.”
Teddy’s eyes widened, his smirk had disappeared. My heart stopped beating. It felt like I had died.

1st December 2009


I was fiddling with my keys as Jaime rushed her words out.

“…he thinks…so what if he’s my brother…dead to me.”
“What?” Jaime had become a stony haze to me. “You’re brother’s dead?”
“No!” Jaime, in an over the top fashion manner screamed. “My brother has turned up without a phone call to mum or dad. He expects me to make tea for him. Get his breakfast, do his washing.”
“Well he’s not asking you to kidnap Gordan Ramsay.”
Jaime stopped to; well stop her-self from imploding with laughter.
“I understand Jaime. He left, went walkies. Maybe he needed time to cope with the death of your grandparents?”
A blink of an eye and with an L paper made, Jaime’s stressful family life was forgotten.
I took the first drag of the joint and with a deep inhale asked:
“Is your brother fit?”


A rasp knock on the garage door woke me and Jaime from our stoner’s bubble. I looked at my watch and bolted to my feet.
Shit, an audition.
I stumbled to the garage door and blinked as the sun illuminated the dank space. Five rock star wannabes stood glaring at me. Every face had an expression of curiosity. One of them spoke in a rich Bolton accent.
“Is this Band Practise?”
“Yeah it is. Hmm…are you all here for the audition?”
“No we’re here because we heard there’s free weed.”
The cocky little shit turned out to be a five foot nothing emo. A fringe long enough for Prince Charming to cling onto.

“Emo? Piss off!”


Two virginal (and World of Warcraft loving) geeks and a thirty year old XFactor wannabe later; I heard a familiar note.


Leaving the hopeless to they’re own devices I curiously was led to the entrance of the garage.
The lad stood in the crisp December sun. His guitar hung loosely across his muscular neck. A tattooed arm fell to strum the perfect solo. I knew I had found my new guitarist.

1st January 2010

He has a girlfriend…
Her name is Tierra…
He’s Jaime’s brother…

Each touch echoed these thoughts. A dream that was fuzzy and cloudy. Teddy kissed me – not like anyone who has a girlfriend. His fingers were almost drunk on my skin.

I woke. The windows were open with curtains pulled across. Teddy slept soundlessly next to me. I closed my eyes letting the actions of last night sink in.
Teddy stirred and turned over. He opened one eye and stared contently at me.
“You alright sunshine?”
I shook my head. I scanned his face for any signs of guilt. Mr ‘Straight man’ wasn’t as straight as he had proclaimed.
“I’m fine. You have a girlfriend.”
“I don’t want to spell it out here but…”


I was taken back by what he had just said.
“No fucking shit Teddy. What about Tierra?”
This wasn’t real. This person wasn’t real.
“Tierra fucking knows. I just…I don’t mind fucking women. Let’s just say I’ll never marry one.”
I stepped out of bed, pulling my clothes on. I turned towards the door.
“…and you’re Jaime’s brother.”

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