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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/view_item/item_id/1966805-By-Royal-Decree
Rated: 13+ · Poetry · Satire · #1966805
A satirical poem about a Royal decree. Set in the early eighteenth century.
By Royal Decree


He awoke with a jolt, having heard his Queen fart.
The King drowsy, and thinking of, "death do us part."
Repeating the words in his mind for an hour,
He fell back to sleep to rekindle his power.

Three hours of resting was all he could muster,
Awake, and refreshed, with his sheets in a cluster.
He turned to checkup on the Queen he admired,
With close observation, "MY GOD, SHE"S EXPIRED!"

Queen Alice lay still, like a lump of fresh dough,
No movement at all, not a twitch from a toe.
He struggled to see the sheets rising at all,
No breath from her lungs, left the King feeling pall.

Her handmaiden came with sure haste, to her side,
"Oh my, is it true, has our Royal Queen died?"
The King prone in fetal, looked all of a fool,
As they lifted her body from pillows of drool.

The King wracked with grief, stayed alone in his bed,
For two months he hid, with grief stuck in his head.
His first in command, had to beg his attention,
"The Kingdom's in need, I have issues to mention."

Before his Queen died, the King never felt sadness,
He gracefully ruled with a heart full of gladness.
So after a year, and with no relief rendered,
The King had a thought, to which he'd surrendered.

With a Royal decree, he sent notice abroad,
A legion of messengers took to the sod.
The notice produced by the King's sage, and printer,
Was passed hand to hand through the long snowy winter.

"WHOM EVER CAN TURN THE KING'S FROWN INTO LAUGHTER,
WILL BE SHOWERED WITH GOLD, FOR DAYS EVER AFTER."
A small minstrel group was in route through the valley,
Their leader Sir Snoot had retired from his galley.

When Snoot read the notice he found on the road,
He knew just what to do, to relive the Kings load.
So he gathered his minstrels, and gave them the news,
"We're off to the Castle, there's no time to lose."

Sir Snoot got in line, since so many were hoping,
To make the King laugh, from the grief he'd been coping.
Some made funny faces, some juggled, some sang,
Some danced in the courtyard, like puppets they'd hang.

Snoot waited them out with a smile on his face,
Cause he knew his idea, would earn him an ace.
After two hundred acts, it was his time to shine.
He was anxious to serve the King, Whippoorwill Wine.

"This wine is the best that you ever will find,
You'll smile, then you'll laugh with this Whippoorwill Wine."
So the King glugged it down without spilling a drop,
"This Whippoorwill wine is so good I can't stop!"

But the wine wasn't making the King crack a grin,
He was troubled, "You've lied", he said with chagrin.
So Snoot spouted out "I have words that I'll give,
You only have three hundred seconds to live."

"I've poisoned your wine with a serpentine mix,
Then stirred the concoction with cinnamon sticks."
When all of the sudden the King burst, with a HA!
And he laughed at old Snoot with his eyes full of awe.

Then he fell over dead with a smile on his face,
Cause Sir Snoot had succeeded in charming His Grace.
The guardsman announced, "I'll take Snoot to the chopper.
You've killed our good King, you should visit the lopper."

The Kings good adviser said "NO, SET HIM FREE
HE'S SUCCESSFULLY HANDLED THE ROYAL DECREE.
"WHOM EVER CAN TURN THE KING'S FROWN INTO LAUGHTER,
WILL BE SHOWERED WITH GOLD, FOR DAYS EVER AFTER."

So Snoot and his cronies lived merrily on,
In the castle of Dizden, where Snoot played his con.
The Prince turned to King, quickly knighted Sir Snoot.
That conman who played pretty songs on his flute.     

         



 
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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/view_item/item_id/1966805-By-Royal-Decree