Bitter-sour

         Think back to how it used to be yesterday, how it used to feel, everything, everyone... Isn't it so different today? Look back at those old photos of yourself, doesn't it seem like a different person smiles back at you? Isn't the past so far away from reality? And yet you cling on to it, like a child to their mother's leg, refusing to let go, refusing to let her go her way, refusing to be left alone. Remember how you used to be scared of the dark? You never stopped, it's just a different kind of darkness now, more real, scarier, lonelier... No monsters in the closet to keep you company. Can you feel the change peeling your skin off, leaving you naked and exposed, vulnerable and prone to every nasty disease? The old you is gone, the wind blew you away, far away into the abyss, never to be found. And you look back, desperately trying to figure it out, but the sand sticks to your eyes, and you blink, and you cry, and you scratch your eyes until they bleed. Then you wonder where to next, but the red blurriness partially blinds you and you're lost, and you're alone, and you fear, and you shiver and you wish you were a kid again in your mother's warm embrace. And then you run back, as hard as you can, for as long as your worn out legs can hold you, and you hope again, and you're disappointed again...

Weightlessness, dreams of flying high and waking up before you hit the ground. Carelessness, joy and playing on the streets until you scrape your knee. Happiness, love and the smell of your favorite breakfast after a good night of sleep. But you're low on the ground now, and you have to keep on waking with blood on your knees, and stay awake, you must always stay awake. Nobody warned you, nobody prepared you, they only made you wear rose tinted glasses for a little while, until you grew out of them, until you sat on them and broke them. Now you crave the impossible, you long for something that was never yours to begin with, you wish for a feeling but you no longer own a heart.

Your world is now sour, life gave you too many lemons and maybe you shouldn't have let them rot away. Isn't it weird that you still kind of like the taste? Or that you eat the crust too? Your world is now bitter.