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Rated: ASR · Essay · Gay/Lesbian · #1991830
My coming out moment
If you had to describe the best kiss you've ever had, how would you describe it?

(Don't forget the reasons behind your decisions!)

Hmmmm, now that memory I like to think about even though I was thirty-one years old, married with three children and with that first bestest ever kiss I knew I was screwed.

Up to that moment in my life, no one had delivered the kiss of death, but she did. And what a sweet death that was. I remember I was afraid and felt so awkward but when her lips touched mine the urgency changed from, "Oh God what the hell am I doing?" To "Oh my God, why haven't I done this before?" It wasn't a long kiss, well not the longest I'd experienced before or since that first one with her. But it was intense with confidence and purpose. My breath froze and the tingling of urgency spread like a wave from the top of my head to my curled toes. I was dizzy and warm and fuzzy and shocked by the intensity but I didn't want it to end.

I remember her soft brown eyes looking into mine and she asked, "You like?" I was jello. She could see I liked which was a good thing because I was in no shape to talk about it. And we kissed again. The second kiss and third were not as intense, but the margin of the difference was not really measurable. I have to say I was hers forever after that kiss.

I said it was the kiss of death. In so many ways I died. I accepted beyond a doubt that I am a lover of women. My denial of my sexual self died. My marriage died. My childhood innocence, what little I still clung to, finally died. My concrete moral sense between right and wrong...died. My past became even more bazaar to me. My dream for a "normal" life, died. Reality kissed me to death and I loved it.

True Story...my life was never the same.
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