My D&D character. He is very elaborate because making him was total geeky fun.
|Teb Oakenalesteinmakersson Neutral Good
8th level Thief/9th level Alchemist/7th level Fighter Age 187
Half-Gnome (¼ Elvish ¼ Human) Height 4’10
Strength 13 +2 Reaction/Attacking Adjustment
Intelligence 15 -3 Defensive Adjustment
Wisdom 12 +2 Hit Point Adjustment
Dexterity 17 Thieving Modifiers:
Constitution 16 Pick Pockets + 15%
Charisma 15 Move Silently +5%
Open Locks +10%
Hit points 54 Hide in Shadows +10%
Teb’s most important piece of “equipment” is his “pet” mouse Duchess. Whether or not she is his actual wizardly familiar remains unclear, but what is certain is she’s his most trusted confidant whose opinion and advice he values above all others. Most times she rides unseen beneath his hood by his ear. He consults with her often, which sometimes causes strangers to think he is babbling to himself. However, if these people make introductions with Teb, this misconception will be cleared up as Duchess will poke her twitching, whiskered nose out of his hood in an effort to get a beady eyeful of “their” new acquaintance(s). If Teb forgets his manners and fails to mention her, Duchess will squeak in protest and he, rolling his eyes, will then introduce her as well.
It’s possible that Duchess serves as Teb’s primary reservoir of arcane knowledge, for both his spell lore and alchemy pursuits. This theory is only bolstered by the fact Teb possesses no spell books nor keeps records of any kind. Indeed, at times Teb's friends have been witness to him hotly debating with Duchess the exact ingredients for his magic clay sling balls or the right components/words/gestures for a spell. Astute observers note she’s almost always been in the right in the end. Despite this, Duchess seems in all other regards to be a normal, brown, house mouse, right down to the foods she prefers to eat which are; garlic sauteed kale and asparagus, honey roasted peanuts, and gluten free crackers.
Duchess will not permit Teb to keep any animals his befriends or charms longer than necessary (and never longer than three days). Strangely, her jealousy doesn’t seem to apply to his demi-human, human, or humanoid paramours/friends and she seems mostly indifferent (if occasionally mildly disgusted) to any of the two legged females with whom he associates.
How Teb and Duchess communicate with one another is perplexing. When he speaks to her he uses not his specialized gnomish, burrowing mammal language (which is indeed Rodentia), but instead speaks to her in regular gnomish. Of those who have been close enough to him to catch some of her squeaking responses, none have been able to understand her, including, strangely enough, gnomes who also chose Rodentia as their burrowing mammal language. This has caused speculation among Teb’s gnomish community that he is mad, her responses to him are imaginary, and Duchess is, simply, an ordinary mouse.
Teb’s Stave of Eccentric Nonviolence is his primary hand to hand weapon. Its abilities are as follows;
+1 to hit/-1 on damage,
-2 to armor class bonus to its wielder,
Hits of 19 or 20 require the strikee to make a saving throw versus magic or be subdued,
Monsters with less than 50% of their hit points stuck by the stave must save versus fear or flee in panic,
Can shrink to a 1 foot long slender wand or grow to 8 foot long thick staff (Teb usually fights with it at a length of 5 feet),
The stave is incapable of causing a mortal wound.
Teb is fully aware that the stave cannot kill, and is fond of it all the more for its “flaw.”
Teb’s favorite missile weapon is his Sling of Seeking and Ill Speaking. The sling is +2 to hit/damage. Each time, just before it fires, it says a little something like, “That goblin’s ass will be in a sling.” Every time it hits, it congratulates itself. It may, for example, say, “I just ‘rocked out’ with my bad self.” Conversely, if it misses its target, it cusses and makes up an excuse such as, “Shit, I guess the sun was in your eyes on that throw, Teb.”
The user of this sling is 5% more likely to be the first to be attacked by each member of an opposing group. This desire for counter attack may be attributed to the slinger’s effectiveness in battle, but an equally likely explanation is that the sling’s insulting chatter draws the enemies’ attention, as well as their ire, upon its wielder. Luckily, the sling also provides a -2 armor class adjustment to its user, although this bonus applies to only missile fire, and not hand to hand weapons.
Teb is beginning to suspect the sling is making him somewhat more likely to be targeted by enemy combatants.
Teb also owns a Hooded Cape of Squirreliness, which is sewn together from the fur of innumerable squirrels. Any thief who dons it is granted the following modifiers;
-2 to wearer’s armor class do to its skittish effects upon the wearer,
+15% to climbing walls,
+10 to find/remove traps,
Acts as a spell of feather falling upon it wearer when said user falls from a great height,
Causes the user to need to make a successful saving throw versus charm every time he “comes across” any items of value (gems, jewels, coins, magical items, walnuts…) or be compelled to steal/obtain and then horde them. Usually it’s wearers (and this includes Teb, for now) are unaware of this effect it has upon their desire to steal.
Teb owns one last magical item being Uncle’s Lew’s Fantastical Ale Stein. The mug appears an ordinary, unadorned, if well crafted, wooden beer stein. However, it is imbibed with the following abilities;
Holds 5 times the more liquid than it appears,
Neutralizes poisons and purifies any liquid poured into it,
Can seal itself to be watertight,
Keeps any liquid poured into it fresh and cold (45 degrees).
The stein is a gift to Teb from his Uncle Lew. It holds great sentimental value to him and is his most prized possession (other than Duchess, of course). Teb would sooner give up any of the other magical item he owns before parting with it.
Teb is the son of the famous gnome hero Jreb Oakenalesteinmakersson and the equally renowned half-elven, sorceress/swordmaiden adventurer, Ariellodia D’EntHeartClan. Teb’s parents never married, nor ever lived together, and so he spent parts of his childhood living with either one or the other of them in his or her respected land. In fact, Lew Oakenalesteinmakersson, Jreb’s older brother, spent more time raising Teb than either of his parents, and Teb definitely feels closer to his Uncle Lew than to either his mother or father. That is not to say he isn’t fond of his parents; indeed, both played significant roles in raising Teb. From his father Teb learned how to steal, a dose of illusionary magic, and how a marriage of these two things can be quite immensely fun. From his mother he learned a little “real” wizardly magic, and some druidic power. From both he inheiritated the gnomish and elvish love of animals, and from both he learned how to fight (although he ultimately rejected his mother’s weapons of choice – the sword and bow). It is from his Uncle Lew (a brilliant alchemist), that Teb acquired his knowledge and love for the art of alchemy. Yet the most important attributes imparted upon him by his uncle were austerity, charitableness, and a compassionate nature toward all living things.
Teb’s modest cottage/burrow contains but one extravagance, a large and fully equipped, underground laboratory. It is here that Teb works on creating and perfecting his alchemy pursuits. His most successful are his Magic Clay Sling Balls. They are clay balls infused with enchantment, magic herbs and arcane components that he creates to be used in his sling. They are usually used “offensively” such as; his Magic Clay Sling Ball of Web which when it hits changes into a large sticky web which ensnares its target, his Magic Clay Sling Ball of Person or Mammal Charming which when it hits causes its target to be charmed, and a Magic Clay Ball of Sleep which acts like his first level magic user spell.
Yet Teb also makes clay balls which are designed to help allies. For example, he has developed a Magic Clay Sling Ball of Cure Light Wounds that is a special blend of healing herbs and his own druid cure light wounds spell. When it hits it heals its target as the curative spell of the same name. Teb also has a Magic Clay Ball of Strength which he uses upon his friends during combat.
Teb has many qualities that effect his actions. Some of those include his pacifism, his alcoholism and his kleptomania. He also possesses a unique blend magical abilities which include illusionary, real magic, and druid powers; all of which can be attributed to his mixed heritage and varied studies.
Teb is a pacifist. He refuses to take the life of any creature, including the lives of what many people consider the most evil beings. This has sometimes caused great friction for him with his companions, particularly in his adventuring groups or on the field of battle. Some say he can't kill, but one or two adventurer friends attest that under the most crucial of circumstances Teb has indeed taken life.
Teb suffers from two afflictions being alcoholism and kleptomania. Teb’s alcoholism manifests itself in the form of periods of binge drinking. He goes through lengths of sobriety (once he abstained from alcohol for 8 years) but he has never been able to kick the habit completely. Currently he has not had a drink in 287 days, but one never knows when he may fall off the wagon again. In the past his alcoholism has caused problems with his friends and family, including the gnomish community at large, adventuring companions, and female love interests.
Teb is also a kleptomaniac. As with his alcoholism, his kleptomania can sometimes be controlled, yet under certain circumstances he is more prone to thievery. Generally, if Teb comes across any wealth that can be stolen he has a 10% chance of trying to pilfer it. The following conditions modify this and he is:
30% more likely to steal if he is inebriated,
10% more likely if the “victim” is evil
20% more likely if the victim is affluent, wealthy…
20% more likely if the victim is ostentatious, arrogant, elitist…
Remember that Teb’s Hooded Cape of Squirreliness also causes him to want to steal, and so if the victim has all of the following attributes and Teb is drunk and he wearing the magical cape (as he almost always is) he going to try and filch that person’s goods for sure.
Despite the facts Teb is a thief and a kleptomaniac, he is surprisingly non-materialistic. He keeps very little of the wealth he acquires when adventuring and NEVER keeps any of the things he steals under the effects of his kleptomania. All of this wealth and goods he gives to the poor, and tries to do so anonymously if he is able. Although Teb has made fortune upon fortune in his adventuring career, he never seems to retain enough for his own personal needs. He rarely has the coin needed for food, lodging, and is constantly “borrowing” small amounts of money from friends, party members… At times he even resorts to begging when in a financial pinch. People of modest means who have given him money have often found coins, worth well more than the amount they originally gave him, returned to them mysteriously – perhaps they perplexedly discover the sum in a bag upon their kitchen table in the morning without note or explanation. Teb's altruism is so strong that the Hooded Cape of Squirreliness's effect of making its wearer want to keep what he steals has not had any effect upon him...as of yet that is.
Teb is somewhat of a polarizing character as far as his relations go. He has developed a large amount of friends (among various races) through; his charity, his adventuring mates, performing of tasks on behalf of others and the gnomish people, his bravery in the face of extreme danger, his charismatic nature and his amorous relations with women of different races. Indeed, Teb is quite fond of the ladies and has had his fair share of romances with women including; human females, humanoids (the list of which is shockingly varied), and even giantesses. Teb uses his magic, both illusionary and real, to alter (or appear to alter) his size or appearance to aid him in such seductions as the need arises or seems fit. He is amenable and frequently attracted to females of the very small races too, and has shrunk himself to rendezvous with them as well, whether they are fairies, pixies, sprites, brownies…
Despite his fans both male and female, Teb is disliked and made enemies with a number people. Often times this is a result of him either stealing from them or having amorous relations with their wives, daughters…, and even though he has performed many services for his people, such as retrieving their lost/stolen artifacts at great personal risk, he is not loved by the gnomish community as a whole either. One cause of this is Teb's different view of the concept of evil. He often considers beings like kobolds and goblins as less adversarial than wealthy, greedy gnomes who do not share their wealth with impoverished gnomes (or others). Teb regards these aforementioned “evil” humanoids as the products of their upbringing and environment, while (in his mind) self absorbed gnomes who hoard their wealth have no such excuse to defend their venal actions.
Nevertheless, when these evil humanoids attack his gnomish homeland Teb loyalties are undeniable and he has proven his valor on the battlefield against such creatures many times. Yet his aid is always non lethal and his refusal to kill them is viewed as suspect by some gnomes, and even disloyal and treasoness by others.
In is important to note many gnomes find his Hooded Cape of Squirellyness grotesque. Indeed Teb himself was horrified when he first retrieved it from the slain, nefarious wizard’s wardrobe. Yet he decided to keep it – to simply throw it away when so many squirrels were slaughtered to make it seemed wrong to him somehow. Later, when he discovered (some) of its powers, he decided to keep and wear it. At least those valiant creatures of the trees didn’t die in vain, and their sacrifice helps him attain more valuables he can pass on to the poor, and use to protect animals alike. The squirrels’ legacy lives on…
Lastly, there are a few gnomes who dislike Teb for his mixed race heritage and his “giant” height, as Teb stands a full fool taller than your average male gnome. Generally, gnomes are an extremely tolerant and accepting people, so these biased gnomes who reject Teb for his stature are but a very “small” fraction of his homeland.
Nevertheless, currently Teb’s reputation with the gnomish community is at an all time low. The circumstances for Teb’s recent ill favor began when (not long ago) a group of well organized of kobolds surprised and invaded Teb’s homeland in an all out and well planned, coordinated attack. Teb’s very own community was one of the initial villages to be assaulted. When his beleaguered neighbors recovered from their shock and quickly organized their defenses, the Battle of Gnome Woods Knoll ensued. Unluckily for him, Teb was drunk at the time of the attack. In attempting to aid their militia (as he had done so very effectively numerous times in the past), he blundered badly.
In battle Teb tripped, splaying himself out. In doing so he spilled and scattered his magic clay sling balls all over the ground. As he hurriedly retrieved them he, in his inebriated state, mixed them all up.
Afterwords, as he slung them out, he always seemed to guess wrongly which was which. Thus he proceeded to fetter the gnomish side by putting them to sleep or by wrapping them up in sticky webs, while alternately aiding the kobolds by doing things such as healing them, giving them added strength, or the like.
After the battle those gnomes ill disposed toward Teb succeeded in mustering a trial by the elder council to judge his actions in battle. Teb’s long time friends showed up in mass and spoke convincingly on his behalf, yet the decision was made to banish Teb from the gnomish lands for 10 years. That was exactly 287 days ago, and was also the last day he has had a drink.
Currently Teb is wandering the world and enjoying himself, yet he hopes to perform some service for the gnomish people to atone for his mistake and commute his sentence, and thus be able to return to his homeland. He has just finished visiting with a few of his old adventuring friends (who, naturally, during his visit dragged him along on their latest quest). Now he finds himself decked out in cold weather attire, loping his way into the northern lands. He has a certain Frost Giantess Queen on his mind with whom he hopes to rekindle a fire that once was. If he is lucky, and her husband is not home, maybe, just maybe, he will succeed.
Since he has not had access to his home and laboratory in quite some time, he currently has but a paltry number of his magic clay sling balls left, and so he will only use them under the direst of circumstances, which is all the more reason he hopes to not run into the aforementioned Frost Giant King.
Teb’s alchemist abilities are a unique mixture of illusionist, wizardly and druidic powers. While varied, they are not necessarily very powerful, and he has no spell knowledge beyond the 3rd level (and he has only 2nd level knowledge in the magic user and druid classes). He has no clerical powers whatsoever.
Teb is incapable of learning any spells which cause physical damage (such as magic missile). He is even incapable of learning illusionary spells that mimic damage causing spells.
Teb is unable to cast any of these spells in a traditional manner. He may only use them to infuse their power into the creation of one of his many magic clay balls.
The spells Teb may learn in order to make his magic clay balls for the day must selected from the following;
Druid Spells: 1st Level 2nd Level
Animal Friendship Charm Person or Mammal
Speak with Animals Cure Light Wounds
Magic User Spells: 1st Level 2nd Level
Illusionist Spells: 1st Level 2nd Level 3rd Level
Change Self Blur Fear
Audible Glamer Deafness Paralyzation
Teb may choose one spell from each category (one 1st level druid spell, one 2nd level druid spell, one 1st level magic user spell...) The exception to this is he may choose two 1st level Illusionist spells per day for a total of 8 spells per day. Again, the spells above may not be cast in the usual fashion, they can only be used to infuse their properties into a a magic clay ball.
Through his efforts, research and practice Teb developed a handful minor spells of his own invention, that he may cast like a regular spellcaster.
His first spell is called Teb's Spell of Reduction for Seduction. It allows him to shrink himself by as much as three feet for 12 turns.
His second spell is Teb's Spell of Lengthen for Gratification. It allows him to grow by as much as five feet for 12 turns.
Teb often uses these two spells to seduce females of differing races. The spells can only be used for amorous, and not warlike, purposes.
If Teb successfully picks the pocket of someone in a crowded place (ie a bar, marketplace...), he can cast Teb’s Spell of Pilfer Whisper Transfer. To do so Teb simply whispers a brief incantation then blows on his fist holding the purloined object. When he opens his hand back up the object is gone and is transferred into the pocket of the nearest deserving, impoverished person. The effects of the spell are such that the receiver of this transferred object will not discover it until he or she is safely at home that evening. Teb may cast this spell once per day.
One of Teb’s favorite tricks to play with Uncle Lew's magical ale stein (when he is drinking) is to take it to a bar and cast a small illusionary cantrip on it, Teb's Spell of Beer Muggery, which makes it appear as one the regular mugs the tavern uses. Then he passes it “back” to the bartender, empty, to get extra ale. To his detriment Teb seems to be able to cast this spell as many times a day as he pleases which, in the past, has often been until he passes out.