Choose Kindness From the Menu
|This started out as a blog entry, but upon the suggestion of someone I admire, I decided to make it a static item that I can add to, at will.
This is my opinion and, not necessarily anyone else's. No one is perfect, least of all, me.
What prompted this outburst?
It is not just one thing. The biggest thing is giving donations or bidding and winning, and then hearing......
not hearing "thank you"
There is always stuff going on here.
There are always fundraisers. People want others to bid on their auction packages. Sometimes forum activities require the spending of gift points. On and on. If you review with a group, you want to support that group when they raise funds. The only thing is you might not be able to afford it every time.
There are plenty of successful activities and then there are those that do not work. I do not know why some work and some do not.
Some of the most fun I've had here has been at recent activities I participated in. They were good and fun all the way through.
Here are some tips for you if you solicit gift points, time, or whatever from others.
If you follow these simple admonitions you will do well. This all should be obvious, common sense.
Remember that we all have choices to make in our behaviors and in our philanthropic decisions.
1. Always do what you promised in a timely manner.
2. Under promise and over-deliver. Try not to do the opposite of that, or you will get a reputation that is not good.
3. Do not rely on others to fulfill your promises unless it is a real legitimate emergency. Your kid skinned his or her knee is NOT a qualifying life event. Devastating illness is legitimate and so is suffering a loss. Life happens and it knocks us over at times. We all understand that it does. Try and fulfill your promises eventually and most people will be kind about it.
4. Always say thank you if someone donates or gives you something to help out and do it RIGHT AWAY. Do not fool around with your thank moos. Thank people for doing nice things. Make a habit of it.
5. Do not use the hard work of others to puff yourself up.
6. Make sure you thank after it is all over, not just while you have an ongoing need. Don't butter people up when you need things and ignore them otherwise.
7. Pay it forward means to do for others without expecting stuff in return. But that doesn't mean that the people paying it forward don't expect you to be polite and thank them. It means that they don't expect you to reciprocate. If they do it anonymously, then that means they don't care about the thanking part. Otherwise, always assume that they want to be thanked. Find a way to make that happen.
8. Don't just do things to get attention and be noticed and don't just help people who give you gift points and who pay for your upgrades.
9. Read and review others on a regular basis, don't just fundraise and promote your own self. If your last review was sent more than six months ago, you should focus on that first and leave the self-aggrandizement until later.
10. Do not sign up for 47 things in one month. I exaggerate the number, but you know what I mean. That is over-committing and while you might need the pressure of lots of things to perform, if others are watching and depending on you, you will inevitably let them down.
11. When someone bids on and wins your package in an auction, do not treat fulfilling that package, as the biggest burden that anyone has ever been forced to carry and something you'd like to avoid at all costs.
Do not continually offer up packages when you have no intention of seeing things through.
It was a situation like this that prompted this essay back in 2014. It seems to be an ongoing pattern for some here.
12. Don't make arbitrary, exclusionary lists of people that only serve the purpose of hurting feelings for no good reason. That is what cliques/cults do and it is not good or kind or positive. It is downright mean-spirited at times and can have lasting consequences. It can also reveal some tightly held truths about character and bullying.
13. Never call someone names just because they do not agree with you. Don't do that anywhere. It's repulsive.
It all really boils down to this:
Be considerate and you will be fine.