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Rated: E · Essay · Comedy · #2029996
when clumsiness ATTACKS!
Clumsy Queen

I would not be surprised if someday I die not of diagnosed bone cancer or brain tumor but because of this severe clumsiness I have.

I don’t know where I got it, but I’m pretty sure it wasn’t hereditary. I cannot also call it as bad luck because I am not one of those who have “balat sa puwet”. And of course I did not consider it as bad karma. Indeed, I’m trying my best to be nice to everybody as long as I can. Unfortunately, in my case I am clumsy as if it is in every fiber of my muscles and it functions involuntarily.

I hate when my clumsiness attacks everywhere, anytime with different degrees. There were times in our house that I was asked to wash the dishes and then a suddenly after a couple of minutes, they would just hear a plate broken into pieces or a cup dropped on the floor. Being defensive to my mom, I would said that it was not my fault, it’s the dish washing liquid that made it slipped into my hands. And that I had no hard feelings doing that simple task. From then on, they do not allow me to do the dishwashing anymore.

I spent most of my time in school were more clumsiness scenarios happened to me. From the simple exam that even though instructed as “strictly no erasure”, still I ended up with messy answer sheet. A class won’t end that either pen or notebook on top of my arm chair and even my new phone which I promised to take care of would fall on the floor several times. I don’t know why. Holding it or not, it falls like the strongest gravitational force was always in my place. Then my seatmate will pick it up for me not for the first but for the third time with his strange look thinking that I intended to throw it. Then recently, something ridiculous happened to me. I was in the dean’s office and talking to the office secretary. I leaned on her table with my hands on its edge and suddenly my left hand slid due to its very smooth surface. I lost my balance that made me knelt down. It looked like that I was praying or whatever based on the interpretations of those who witnessed that very awkward moment.

Wherever I am, stumbling while walking seemed normal to me and as always a hilarious act in the eyes of my friends. Sometimes, when we’re in the mall I feel like my presence can cause disaster. Displayed shoes, hanged clothes, and arranged box usually fell down when I touched it intentionally or not. Good thing was my clumsiness knows which was expensive and I’m not breaking a glass or any porcelain items yet.

I also believed that forgetfulness is next to clumsiness. Yes, I am the living proof of that. Let just say that I always live my things unattended. I often forget where I put my things after a little bit of chatting, texting, reading and whatever I was doing. Then after that I would just noticed that there’s something missing. As usual I would end up panicking with my eyes searching around and my hands grasping everything just to find it.

Actually, I feel bad that I have no handkerchief that lasted for at least a month, worse are those new pens that I only used for few hours and worst I don’t know where to find some stuffs with sentimental values. I wonder how come that in just a snap I lost a lot of my personal belongings. It was depressing that it seemed that I lost it  because I took those things for granted. Until now, I don’t know the mystery behind my clumsiness.

If there’s Mr. Bean, there was me, who was crowned by my friend as a clumsy queen. I thought it was cool though I look like a fool because it made my friends laugh out loud to the point that their stomachs and jaws cramped. But I came to the realizations that no one deserves this crown and a type of queen you shouldn’t hail. Because in this world where lots of people are aiming for perfections, as much as possible there is no room for wrong actions and being just human is not an excuse for carelessness. I remember my post in Facebook says “anong gamot sa taong clumsy?” Then someone commented “biogesic”. I just laughed at it then it turned out to be a serious joke when I recalled its TV commercial having its tag line “ingat”.

I should train myself to act carefully in everything I do and anywhere I am before my clumsiness could hurt someone and worst even me. I won’t let this attitude to last because it is not funny all the way instead it could be the cause of anger, disappointment and hatred to somebody. I know God wants me to realize that.  Now it’s time for this one and only New Year’s Resolution to rule my life. Don’t be careless. And honestly, it annoys me when my friends sing to me “clumsy queen, feel the beat of the tambourine…Oh yeah…”
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