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Rated: 13+ · Short Story · Comedy · #2045381
I was just attempting to type via my new wireless keyboard. It had other plans....
TUPID KEYBORD                                                                                
          "What do you think you're doing?"
         I imgine thi i what my gloting powerful and irkome keybord ay to me. Im trying to write new tory, but my new wirele keybord won't let me.Like mot mnmde gdget, it being pernickety. It pin , emphi in pin! I m frutrted nd experted. For ome reon, depite my touching, troking, tbbing, jbbing, tpping, hitting, or pounding the key, it refue to regiter the letter " " or " ".                              
         ( ORRY, I men, orry... apologie, excue me. Thi obtinte ornery device won't let me print two very important, no vitl, necery.. much needed letter. HHH!!! I men GRRR! I cn't wer. I cn't cure. I cnnot ob nd I relly wnt to! I'm not even permitted to write poor ugly word. GRR encore! Drn ticky keybord!)                                                                                          
         I'll try omething new. Deep brething nd counting to ten. No need to loe my ptience. Oky..... one-two-three-four-five-ix-even-eight-nine-ten... There, I feel better, in control,clmer. Drn. Drt. Tupid mchine! I'm o ngry, I could pit nil! GGGHHH! Hking you didn't help.                                                            
         I'll power off the computer nd do reboot. Thi I what it relly need... a good wift kick. Come on, come on. mrten up! Cut me ome lck, plee. I remember to cloe ll my window. I don't need nything eleto fly into my enitive operting ytem.          
          Okay, yes! I am gently depressing, no make that tapping the keys. Hurray, I am able to express plurals again! The "a" is reunited with the "e,i,o,u". No more tongue-biting or holding my breath. NO MORE DISTRACTIONS. No more hassles. I am free to write once again with the assistance of my new wireless keyboard, ( and all of the letters!) Maybe I'll take a much needed break first?                                        
         igned,           ndy of undridge ( IGH! I think I'll just go crem now. No one will her me. It will be ilent.) (307 words)

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