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Rated: 13+ · Short Story · Comedy · #2060642
A brief conversation with a lexically-challenged ghost. Dialogue only.
(Tied 1st Place - "The Dialogue 500 Oct. 2015 – woo!)

"Hey! What the...?"


"Who is that? Who's there?"


"Uh... woo who?"


"A ghost! Holy sheets!"

"Wooo! Woo woo woo!"

"... um, can you... can you use, y'know, words? Words I can understand?"


"No, I... Timmy fell down the well?"


"All aboard?"


"Sorry! Sorry. Right, we're communicationizing."


"Well, no, it's a made-up word. Sometimes I gibberify when I'm nerverous...."

"... woo."

"Yeah, I heard it. So... uh... do you have a message for me? From the Great Beyond or some-such?"


"Really? No dire warnings of things yet to pass?"

"Woo, woo-oo."

"Hmmm... are you trapped between worlds and somehow in need of my assistance to cross-over from this miserable existance?"

"Woo? Woo-oo!"

"Huh. Well then I give up. Sorry, but I can't speak woo. I did take French in high school, but that's less 'woo' and more 'woo-la-la'!"


"Well, someone's got a funny bone! I like it! Say, speaking of French, have you ever tried escarghost? Unless the idea of eating snails makes you woozy.

"Woo! Woo! Woo-woo!"

"Yeah! That's the spirit! I mean, you the spirit!"


"Thank you! You've been a great audience! And I'm so glad you're not the kind of ghost who says 'Boo!'"


"Yup, I can still knock 'em dead. I – wait, where're you going?"


"Oh. Okay, yeah, I've got stuff to do, too. Nice speaking to woo – I mean, spooking to you – I mean speaking to you!"

"Woo! Woo-oo!"

"Yup. Bye-bye."


"... well, that was odd. That's it! Memo to self: next time you make chili, lay off the ghost peppers!"


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