by Juana Garcia
Finding the little girl in me
I loved summer days. The summer days in my home were about making homemade ices, popsicles, and milkshakes. The summer days were about roller-skating and riding bicycles and about playing tag and hid’n and seek and going to the neighbor’s house to just kick it with our friends. Summer days were about the building gossip. Every week my mom would set my hair in rollers outside in the front of the building where all the boys would play hand ball and make fun of each other and possibly me but I didn’t pay attention to these things then. Boys and girls shenanigans were not my thing until maybe eighth grade. I was way too shy. I was so shy I almost felt crippled by it except when I was by myself or with my really close cousins. I loved playing by myself with my friend Le Pew. Le Pew did whatever I asked him or her. Its gender changed depending on my mood and what game I was playing. Le Pew kept all my secrets he was the bestest pretend friend ever. Yes, seven feels like yesterday.
I do not want to lose my seven year old self. Even in her shyness she was beautiful and creative and happy. There is a need to re-identify with my inner child. There are things from my childhood that I wish I could go back to at the same time there are many I wish to delete from my memories forever. The inability to speak to my classmates, the urge to vomit whenever asked to answer a question during class was a tremendous disability to my learning and social upbringing. Even though this is so there is the fact that I was creative and I could fully express my creativity alone to myself.