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Rated: 13+ · Monologue · Contest Entry · #2116524
Writer's Cramp Entry March 27, 2017
 The Pun Is Mightier Than the Sword  (13+)
Writer's Cramp Entry March 27, 2017
#2116524 by Chaplain Marvin Schrebe, CPRSS
314 Words

I always loved to watch the Loony Tunes cartoons on television. I would sit around and make up puns concerning their actions. For example when Wile E. Coyote would blow something up and end up under a huge boulder as it fell to the Earth I'd wait for his little surrender sign and say "He found that to be quite smashing."

My brothers would look at me like I was from Mars at that point and I'd explain that I was making a pun. If I was watching a movie with violence in it and the bad guy ended up impaled or otherwise ran through with something sharp I'd say "There. Now he got the point."

I used to drive a lot. Much of the driving I did was on a highway by the Ohio River. Like any river valley there were usually bugs flying everywhere. one day a bumblebee or some other big bug hit my car windshield and splattered. I ask my wife if she could tell me what the last thing that went through the bug's mind was? She answered "It probably thought "Oh my God!"

I answered "No. The last thing to go through its mind was its body."

I used to like too tease my wife. One joke I got over on her several times was to offer her a tea bag while saying "Tea....Bag".

She finally caught on and I slept in the dog house a few nights. it was okay though. The dog didn't mind. After all he was man's best friend.

A blind man walking down the street gets hit by a baseball because he didn't see that one coming. Yeah i know. That was bad huh?

The protagonist of a movie is fighting with somebody on the roof of a tall building. The antagonist goes over the side because she got the drop on him.

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