by Anna Writer
dealing with a life changing event, knowing who is with you through the good and the bad
| The Blind Side
After 32 years on this earth, I have lived a mostly mundane existence. Get up, get dressed, go to work. Come home, cook dinner, get the kids ready for the next day, and make sure homework is done. Same type of day, every day. On my day's off and during the summer, still plain and bland, with watching television, taking up the spot of homework. I was in a stale life and the realization was crashing down on me like a ton of bricks. I thought my marriage was happy, I thought my kids were happy, but I never really asked them, I just assumed.
One night before bed, I asked my husband; "Hunny, are you happy with me? With this life?" His reply; "Of course sweetie, I love you to the moon and back. Good Night." Hmm well, not quit the answer I was looking for, but I didn't want to push, we both had to get up early. I had a fretful night, with dreams that were so strange to me, that I couldn't even tell the man next to me.
Waking up the next morning, I felt different, even before I opened my eyes. I opened my eyes and it hit me the difference. All I could see was black, I blinked, or at least I think I did, and I turned my head this way and that, nothing. I screamed, "Help, oh my god, I'm blind." First my husband, I think, then the kids. "What's going on love?" my husband asks. "Derek, oh god Derek, I can't see, everything is dark." I'm crying uncontrollably. While my kids, pat my hand telling me "it's ok, mom." I'm freaking out. What do I do now? How did this happen? I tell my husband to call mine, and his job as he will have to take me to the doctor. I've never felt so helpless and out of control.
At the doctor's, all I kept thinking was, my life is going to do a complete 360. Will my husband leave me? Take the kids? Will I be all alone? So many questions and so far, no answers. I come out of my reverie to hear the doctor say; "I'm not sure why this has happened, we have done every test I can think of. Here is a referral to an eye specialist, I highly recommend. Here are some numbers to places that help those who become blind. I'm sorry I don't have any better answers for you."
Derek grabs my hand and leads me to the car, carefully making sure I am buckled in and safe. The next thing I hear is him saying; "I love you so much Darlene, and I will never leave you, I will always be here, me and the kids. We are going to be OK." Finally, an answer to something I was thinking, and it made me feel so good to know I wasn't going to go through this alone.